Friday, September 30, 2005

Just too bizarre

LIMA, Peru (AP) -
It was an elegant beauty pageant lineup - especially for a Peruvian prison - where contestants showed poise on the catwalk and patience awaiting sentencing.

As an audience of Peruvian dignitaries applauded, a 24-year-old Thai woman was declared the winner of the annual Miss Spring contest at Santa Monica Women's Prison in Lima.
Like many of her rivals in Thursday night's event, Onuma Chumsri was imprisoned for drug trafficking in Peru, the world's second largest producer of cocaine after Colombia. She is awaiting formal sentencing.

Reflecting Peru's sluggish legal system, only 133 of Santa Monica's 927 inmates have been sentenced, officials said.

Prison officials said preparations for the contest started two months ago. Entrants were required to have good conduct, attend psychological therapy sessions, and participate in some of the prison's permanent workshops, such as cosmetology, drawing, and fabric painting.
"Sex appeal is important but it is not as if we are seeking just the physical aspect but rather the value as a woman, the value of the person is the essence of all of this," said Maria Jaen, director of the prison.

The prisoners themselves chose their representative of their cell areas. Of the 28 semifinalists 11 women were picked for the final, including five foreigners from Thailand, Belgium, Bolivia and Mexico.

Their stories are all-too similar. Lured by the promise of easy money, they came to Peru to smuggle cocaine only to be intercepted at Lima's international airport. Of the more than 700 foreigners imprisoned in Peru, most were caught smuggling cocaine taped to their bodies, swallowed in plastic pouches or hidden in luggage.
--

Requested list

Favorite things:

Women who glow (that requires a separate post)
Home (Tucson)
The desert
Silver jewelry
Partaga cigars

Pet peeves:

98% of people I come in contact with. (trust me, none of you are even close because I deal with about 200-300 people a day)
Being unappreciated.
Having to always replace an empty toilet paper roll.
Being asked what I want to eat when I'm not hungry.
Slow traffic for no reason.

Random things you don't know about me:

I walk around the house all day in sweats or pajamas on my day off.
Facing the ceiling I sleep on the left side.
I was not invited to my oldest daughter's wedding. (yes, it hurt deeply)
I stood in for my dad at my sister's (HIS oldest daughter) wedding because he refused to go.
I cry easily at movies.

Things I like:

Spicy scallop sushi
Maker' Mark bourbon
Traveling alone
Photography (women and run down things)
My attitude

Thirty years ago this month I entered my senior year in high school. It was one of the best years of my life up until that point. For most of the year I was in love with a girl named Karen but was too afraid to tell her. I saw her at our 10 year reunion and she barely remembered me. Ten years later I saw her at the 20 and was glad that she didn't remember.

Anywho I got straight D's in English because I hate to read. I took a basic math class to graduate because I suck at math. A girl friend (Beth Davis) who lived down the street kicked her heroin habit only to be killed in a car wreck. My two best friends were Phil Connolly who last I knew lived in Yonkers, NY and John Barberii who went on to become a doctor, marry a girl I knew in grade school and give me the ol' turn-your-head-and-cough and lower-your-shorts-and-bend-over exams for the physical exam this job I have now required.

No, I did not schedule it with him. He just happened to be working at the clinic I was sent to so it was a nice suprise.

My brother was on an aircraft carrier off the coast of Vietnam.

I watched Happy Days and All In The Family

I went to all of our home football games and cruised Speedway every Friday with either Phil or John. I took Kelly Hanna to a UofA football game.

It snowed. Frampton Comes Alive was our theme music. I did not go to the prom because I was too shy to ask Karen. If I recall I saw two concerts that year. The Eagles and Loggins and Messina. I did not have a job.

I recently ran into a classmate here at the airport in Vancouver. We remembered each other even though we did not hang out together at all. It was nice. The only time I see ANY of them is at the reunions and it's nice because it's like a bunch of good friends again who promise to keep in touch but then don't.

Give me a
R R for Rincon
I I for interest
N N for number one

Give me a
C C for courage
O O for onward
N N for never shall we fail

For the purple and the white is the greatest of all
We shall carry on our name as the proudest of all
So lets all stand up and give a big cheer
For Rincon High!!

I was just on binsk's blog and took a quiz even though I believe them all to be worthless for other than entertainment value.

I was about half right about me after I chose the colors in the order that they made me "feel good".

I tried to save it and post it here but I suck at that kind of computer maneuver.

I'm a skeptic.

I believe that we are far more complicated for random stuff like these quizzes to nail us down. I take them all because they're fun to do and like I said, entertainment. I'm like 65% redneck, 50-50 boyish girlish, worth about 1.4 million etc.

To me it's like believing in psychics. I'll believe in THOSE wingnuts when I read the newspaper headline "Psychic wins lottery".

You can find a link to Binsk in my comments. You see! I don't even know how to put the link in my post and now she'll get mad at me even though this six pack of cokes is still sitting on my kitchen counter while my son hovers over them like a vulture because he drank his last root beer three days ago.


First day of at least five days off and hopefully TWENTY five.

Since I'm posted foreign the govt is supposed to pick up the tab for plane fare home every so often. I gotta wait a couple of days because the govt fiscal year starts in October and funding issues yadda yadda yadda.

Add to that the fact that there's a deficit because we have some jackass in the white house and they wonder where they're gonna come up with all this hurricane relief money. It's got me wondering if they're gonna pull that all too common "there's no money" line.

Since a hurricane is a cousin of a tornado maybe I should find some red shoes to try to coax my trip back over the rainbow.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Just checked the counter 100+ hits. Of course at least a dozen were me at work.

It's a new record!! Should stand for awhile. LOL

Now that have time let me further explain what I did last night. I finished up at about 10:15 and wanted to post something quick in case some people started looking into what had happened. Then I went to bed because I get up at 3:30AM on work days. NO WAY did I expect so many responses.

I haven't checked the counter to see how many came around but didn't post comments.

I started like I said at Tony's and linked onto Smelly Danielly and from her's to another and so on. I recognized about the first six blogs or so and then started hitting links at random. Sometimes I hit a link in the comment section of a blog and peeled off that way.

Twice I ran into blogs without links and hit the back button to retrace to a blog with links. The third time it happened I stopped because I was tired and the feat is somewhat tedious.

When I mentioned that I ran into groups I'm talking about several blogs with similar links which I'm sure is quite common just like chat rooms used to be. What I was afraid of is that some of these people would say "who the hell is THIS guy?" but that was not the case as several responded.

When I mentioned openly gay blogs I mean blogs where the blogger says he's gay in his profile. You who know me also know that I am pro gay rights so I mentioned it just to mention it as part of my experience in posting on 65 blogs.

Krista asked me if I read the posts before commenting and I didn't. BUT I did go back to the blogs that responded and did a lot of reading and more comment posting. It's kinda tricky to do at work but I managed to do quite a lot.

Thanks to all of you who commented and I will be returning to many of your blogs often. And just so you know, I'm 47, married, four kids, one grandson. If you ask about anything else I will answer.

I may do this again but it will be a couple of months. I hope the idea spreads and I come here one day to see a number posted in my comments.

cheers!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I just ran through the blogosphere posting comment on what started out to be 100 blogs but got stopped when I hit a dead end at 65 and didn't feel like backtracking again.

It was an interesting experience. At times I felt like I was butting in on a group of people and I even passed through several openly gay blogs.

I started at Tony Pierce and just started posting what number that blog was with Tony being one. The familiar became unfamiliar pretty quick. One blog got two of my posts when I clicked on a link with a different name and got tossed back.

Oh well.

Hopefully I will get on a plane and fly home to Tucson next week. I'm still debating if I will even attempt to post from there or make you wait until I get back around the 28th. (As if there are very many of "you")

Some things I will do while I'm there.

Get with a friend from high school and ask about next year's 30th reunion.
Play golf where I played with my father before he died.
Go see my silversmith in Tombstone.
Drive to Portal, AZ to shoot those cliffs at sunrise.
RELAX
Walk from my house to my elementary school. (my moment of zen)
Go to TD's (see the post about the table dance)

MAYBE take my mom down to Obregon to see my grandfather. (depend on how she feels) Obregon has a strip club/brothel that makes TD's look like temple square in Salt Lake City. Can you give me an AMEN?

I WAS going to go to Nogales to buy trinkets but J-Lo will be filming a movie so I'll avoid that mess.
Shoot about 8 rolls of film.

Places where I will eat.

Whataburger
Eegees
Lucky Wishbone
Two or three of my fave Messcan restaurants.
Jack in the Box

And of course my mom will make my breakfast everyday.

Two eggs over easy
Bacon
Toast

A female friend, a Canadian female friend once commented that turn signals were optional equipment or cars in the U.S.. I didn't bite. I just kept reading the paper.

"Hey", she was raising her voice, "why don't Americans use their signals when they change lanes?"

I looked up from my paper. I looked at her.

"Because it's none of your business when I change lanes. I have the room, I'm not running you off the road. I just change lanes."

"pfft" she said.

"Lemme ask YOU a question."

"Go ahead" she said.

"Why do Canadians think everybody is supposed to stop when they turn their signals on? I mean I can be flying down the Dearfoot (we were in Calgary) and there's a space between me and the car in front of me that the car next to me couldn't parallel park in so he uses those signals and starts moving ready or not into that space. What's up with THAT?"

She didn't answer.

"And of course you know what he does when he completes the lane change right?"

"No, what?"

"He hits the fucking BRAKES."

I could tell by the look on her face that she knew what I was talking about.

I went back to reading the paper. Eventually she would stop asking me questions about American habits.

The lady in the blue hat is stirring molten tin. You give her money and she pours a ladle full into that bucket of water to her right. Then when it has cooled and solidified she gives it to you. The "yatiri" in the gray hat then looks at it and tells your fortune. They lady on the left giving me the evil eye asked the "yatiri" to put a hex on me but it didn't work because.........I'm BATMAN.

Moni listed what she wants in a man and it's quite the list. It got me to thinking and pulling out the imaginary mirror o' the soul. If I were to somehow end up single again how would I list what I am. So let's be frankly honest although if I DID become single I would not be looking for long term relationships.

I consider myself somewhat overweight and would like to be in better shape.
I'm a poor listener.
I'm a terrible procrastinator.
Average parent.
Good son.
25 handicap golfer.
Non-smoker.
Non drinker for the most part. (hate beer and wine)
Not really outgoing like you might think.
No really close friends.

I have an amazingly good sense of humor.
Romantic to a fault.
Sports fan.
No tattoos. (but that would probably change)
No piercings.

I absolutely LOVE going places alone and no, "but I promise to be quiet and not bother you" just don't cut it. Alone means ALONE.

Long drives into the middle of nowhere with a camera or two is my idea of a perfect situation.

If I became single again I would become pretty reclusive. Any woman in my life would have to be satisfied with seeing me maybe a total added up of six months of the year. If you think that's horrible it wouldn't be you anyway. I imagine there are several who would be perfectly content with that schedule.

I'd be looking for a woman who has her own grown up kids that keep her company and every now and then calls her daughter tells her she's going away for a couple of weeks and the limo picks her up. Isn't quite sure where she's going to go. Just knows it's where I am. Maybe Miami, maybe Rome, maybe New Zealand. E-ticket suprises. Oh she'd have a heads up for type of wardrobe. A woman who knows that a bouquet of flowers means they'll be a knock on the door in a few days. Quiet dinners at home. Picnics out in the country. Hot tub room in Vegas and the only time the hotel casino sees us is when we check in and check out.

Of course I don't see me being single anytime again in my life.

'til death do us part.

Raw unfinished

I toss shiny coin wishes
and watch them butterfly flicker
to the bottom
of the deep green sea
when I was younger they said the sea was blue
but from where I'm standing
it looks green to me

And I stand and wonder
will she come back to me
will she ever
come back to me

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The dancer climbed up on my legs and forced me back into the chair. She brought her breasts down past my face and her long hair came down like a curtain around my head. I stretched up to touch my nose to hers and we went around in small circles. She smelled like wonderful smells. Our eyes locked and after awhile she led mine down with hers to her wonderful breasts and moved them up over my face again and down again. She did not flinch as I caressed her silk legs and I knew my boundaries so she never felt threatened. I whispered "don't you move from here" as the first song ended. Another began and we danced our dance again. Our eyes, our noses and her brunette curtain that sealed out everything else.

THAT was a table dance to remember.


Leafs SUCK
Senators SUCK
Canucks SUCK
Oilers SUCK
Canadiens SUCK


Went to see Nine Inch Nails last night at the Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver.

AWESOME show. Now that it has set in I am calling it the best concert I have seen and I have seen many.

From start to finish it gripped me and did not let go. The video portion of the show was synchronized perfectly to the slower song that Trent was performing and was extremely moving. The group has returned stateside to do some shows but comes up to Canada again for several dates.

A few years ago I made my son go with me to see AC/DC in Calgary even though he was not a fan of theirs and he was blown away and very glad that he went. Now I tell you guys. Go see Nine Inch Nails for the amazing presentation that Trent Reznor has put together.

This is a classic that needs to be seen.

Satan called me on the phone yesterday afternoon after work. I TOLD him never to call me at home but afterall he IS satan and does pretty much what he wants.

We never talk about my eternal soul so it isn't like "Dan, bow down to me" and shit like that. He just calls to shoot the shit sometimes.

"I hear you're going to see Nine Inch Nails Dan."

"Yeah, and?"

"Trent's my boy. He puts out some great shit!"

"Trent?

"Yeah, who'd you think I would say?"

"Ozzie?"

"Too old."

"Marilyn Manson?"

"Too comic book."

"Rob Zombie?"

"Too damned ugly."

"So did you and Trent make a deal?"

"Nah, nothing like that. I just like his tunes."

"Who else do you listen to?"

"Oh, lots of classical, some R & B, Donnie and Marie."

"Donnie and Marie??"

"Just joking. You being Mormon and all. Ya know you really ought to go to church more."

"What are you my MOTHER? I gotta run."

"Drive safe Dan."

"Thanks."

Monday, September 26, 2005

I'm on hold with DELL because my call is important. Apparently my business is not. I ordered a new computer online all set up the way a good friend advised me and DELL has dropped the ball. My order was cancelled even though I have a bazillion dollars left on the card I'm using. I've talked to three guys with western names and Indian accents because I know their call center is somewhere between me and Mumbai. Now I have Alejandro, Sr Rep dude. Excuse me for a few.

On hold again now but without the concierto.

Oh, here's my man. One moment while I give my info for the 4th time.

He needs two or three minutes.

Why is it so hard? Anybody? My friend says he and everybody he knows has had trouble the first time they dealt with DELL. He told me to give them hell and they'll offer me freebie shit like more RAM.

Three minutes, no Alejandro.

Four minutes. I can see them huddled around the phone trying to wait me out.

Five.

*whistling*

In about 15 I leave to head down to the Pacific coliseum to see Nine Inch Nails and Queens of the Stone Age. I wonder if they have DELLs.

Now I have Alma. Supervisor. We must have moved from India.

Hold again.

Hewlitt Packard is sounding better and better. Best Buy in Bellingham. I still have my Alberta driver's license which makes me tax exempt in Washington.

She's given me another number and the concierto is playing again. She's checking to see if those guys are still in the office. (wherever THEIR office is)

Now the credit dept says it's the FRAUD dept. They're probably on Mars but I gotta run now.

ta

stay tuned



I received my copies of Matt Good's "In A Coma" today and immediately popped the acoustic disc in the player. It's simply amazing.

Thank you Matt.

Your friend and fan,

Dan


Sunday, September 25, 2005


Damn you Tony!!

Tony Pierce posted that three years ago today he was in Aruba. FOUR years ago today I was there. I spent a month working there on temp duty. FUCK the Bahamas, FUCK the Caymans, FUCK Jamaica. GO TO ARUBA.

The top pic is the view from my hotel room. The bottom is me looking very official in uniform. (kinda) at Baby Beach on the "locals" side of the island.


Some
neighborhood
girls
had
set
up
a
lemonade,
kool-aid,
and
face paint
stand
to
raise
funds for hurricane relief. The elementary school down the street is collecting. So I stop and step out of my red rock and roll blaring machine and opt for the kool-aid. I reach into my pocket and pull out all the coin and plop down about four fifty on the table.

I say, "girls, you know what you should be selling on a fine day like today? You should be selling a Bolivian delicacy of exquisite cuisinary delite."

"What mister?" they asked in perfect harmony.

I set the empty cup down on the table.

"Why fried breaded guinea pigs of course. You'ld have people lined up around the block!"

Last I looked out the balcony the look of terror was still on their little faces as they stood frozen. The stand has turned into a self serve operation as people continue to pour their own drinks, paint each other's faces and drop money into the coffee can.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Ya know what?

Snowbirds should be forced to live in compounds of barrack style housing all winter and fed gruel. I HATE snowbirds and I'll tell you why. Those assholes feel that everybody in the warm southern states OWES them something because they spend money there. Here's my reply to that. OK, fine figure out what ten extra years on your life is worth and pay me. Because on average I'll bet that extra activity in the mild winters of the south allows them those ten extra years. I'll see that the money goes to good use. The southern states owe them NOTHING. If they don't like it they can huddle in their freezing houses all winter.

Now sit down and shut the fuck up you old goats!

Thank you,

My Taco Stand blog mgt.

Ya know what?

Those fucking lights on trucks and SUV's. You know, those lights under the headlights? Those should be ILfuckingLEGAL and anybody who drives at night with them on should be pulled over beaten, stripped naked and forced to roll over the shattered remains of the goddamned things.

Thank you,

My Taco Stand blog mgt.

Friday, September 23, 2005

In no peculiar order here are the ten coolest dudes on the planet.

Sean Penn
Donald Fagen
Deniro
Pacino
Gabriel Byrne
Samuel L Jackson
Prince
Peter O'Toole
Harvey Keital (sp)
Benicio Del Toro

Mickey Rourke used to be there but if you hit a woman you aint shit anymore. You get bonus points if you can be rocognized by one name. There should be catch phrases like, "see that guy, man he's so pacino". That's IT!! I propose that deniro and pacino become adjectives. I might be grammatically incorrect but you know what I mean.

This is a post in Spanish. My spell check does not recognize Spanish words so let's see what happens. I'm going to change every word to what it suggests. Should be interesting.

Nazi en Tucson, Arizona y viva ally la Moyer de me Vida. Ally vive mi alma todavia. Mi traffic me lullaby Lexus de Tucson. Primer a Oceanside, California. Pajamas case cuter ANSI ally y candy regression a Arizona fumes a viper en Douglas. Douglas EST en la frontiers co Mexico.

despise de site ANSI en Douglas no fumes a Calgary, Canada. Vivimos cuter ANSI en Calgary ant's de veneering aqua a Vancouver.

osprey regresar a viper en Tucson.

Cool.


My wife has this kind of annoying habit of asking what I want for dinner when I'm still full from a late lunch.

I have this annoying habit of.......

I have no annoying habits.

I leave the TV on and come upstairs to play on this computer thing.

My wife turns the TV off and when I go back downstairs I have to turn the TV back on.

That's annoying.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The most fun I have had doing this is when new people post comments and I check out their blogs and their links. There's some good stuff out there.

I stumbled into a blog by a dj at a strip club and enjoyed it so much that I popped a link to it so I could find it easily.

I'm starting to break my own rule and post links to sites that don't link me. Stuff I enjoy reading. Most of these links are on my other blog since I'm the only person who seems to go there.

Maybe I'll delete it soon and put all those links here. My son reads this blog so you won't see links to any of the spanking or fetish blogs. I'll let you find those on your own.

Good hunting

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Just checked out the website of one of my favorite Bolivian musicians and found out he now has a blog. He also added one of my favorite songs to his site.

http://grillovillegas.com

click on musica and look for "pesanervios" and the song "alas".

jazzy rock in Spanish.

enjoy

RAW, UNFINISHED

I got my mind on evil
I got my foot on the gas
I got curious boy needs
For your grown up body

I like
That you like
What I like

You never whisper in my ear
What you say out loud
In the middle of a crowd
All those heads turning
All my want is burning

RAW, UNFINISHED

I wanna lose myself again
On the streets of Buenos Aires
I wanna wear a gray hat
And stroll to the voice of Gardel
I wanna smoke marlboro reds
Blow smoke through my fingers
I wanna escape the rain into a taxi
On another road to anywhere

Explanation: I used to write quite a lot of poetry/songs long ago. They would start like this and then get polished to finish or hit the bottom of the trash can. I get lazy now so I figured I'd park them here and walk away. Two in a row for ya. More to come.

I finally saw the movie "Crash" today. What a great film. It will be in my top ten movies list now. It's one of those movies that you can only watch once. At least that's what I think. If you haven't seen it you certainly ought to.



Seventeen years ago this month I was hired as an Agent with the U.S. Border Patrol. I was sent to the academy at a temp facility in Alabama and stationed at the I-5 checkpoint near San Clemente, California.

I was a fun job back in those days but the greatest lesson I learned was from an illegal alien from Mexico who we had apprehended. We apprehended about 5 to 6 thousand illegal aliens a month back in the early 90's when I was at San Clemente.

Paperwork was done on every illegal alien we caught and this was the very first illegal alien I processed. He was from southern Mexico and was probably in his mid 40's although the rough life of these people tended to make them appear older.

We were trained to ask if an individual had any scars or marks and we would note it down on the paperwork. This man raised his shirt when I asked and showed me a very large scar on his abdomen. He had been stabbed by border bandits during one attempt to cross into the United States.

We also searched their belongings for contraband and weapons and would look through wallets for fake immigration documents that many carried. In this man's wallet I found a note that had been written by two of his children. It was a Christmas wish list. His son wanted a remote controlled car and his daughter wanted barbie dolls.

This first man who I processed in my career would set the tone for my career which stays with me to this day. I have seen people who struggle to get what they have without complaining. I took water and a blanket to a couple but could not console them. They had been abandoned by three smugglers after those men had taken turns pistol whipping the man and raping the woman. I stood on that checkpoint on a cold winter night when a car approached driven by a man with a terrified look on his face and a woman sitting in the passenger seat who was more like a statue. The woman held a baby and as the car stopped at my side I could see a toddler sleeping in the back seat. The man timidly showed me his immigration document and I waved the whole family up the road towards Los Angeles. I wasn't the only one to have done that back in those days.

I transferred to the southern border as an inspector and soon learned who all the local drug traffickers were and watched them cross into the U.S. with their visas. I listened to the Agriculture inspector complain because during the night shift we would let the kids come up to our booths and take the prohibited fruits and vegetables out of the buckets that we would toss them into when we took them away from people trying to sneak them in.

Now I work in an airport as an inspector and I see people flying home on planes after taking multi thousand dollar cruises and complaining that the line is too long and they want to get their starbucks before getting on the plane and why don't I stamp their receipts so they can get their Canadian sales tax refund.

It has been interesting to say the least. I have been able to support my family and help some people out. Although I have not been assaulted I have been in a few wrestling matches. Just 15 short years and I'll be able to retire.


YES YES YES more concert tix. A nice mellow Air Supply tribute band.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

My mother God love her is coming along day by day since the death of my father and is adjusting as best as anybody would. I am the good son and call regularly and take the trip home twice a year.

My nephew who has forgotten more about computers than I am ever likely to learn helped her pick out a nice setup and now she is driving in one bold toe at a time.

She has gmail and is using it more and more.

There is one thing that she has learned.

It's something that I hate.

I'm starting to get emails from her with this kind of subject title.

fwd, fwd, fwd, funny joke or picture.

I HATE THAT CRAP!

But how do I tell her? I don't want her digressing with her computer use because it makes her technically not a shut in. I'll think of something. I just delete crap like that when it hits my inbox but one day she's bound to ask what I thought of some fwd, fwd, fwd.

YES YES YES. My Matt Good tix arrived in the mail today. The same day that "In a Coma" is released. I have to wait to listen to it and watch the videos because I bought signed copies off the web site and they're shipping them today.

This will be the fourth time I see Matt in concert. I'm a big fan since first hearing him in Calgary in '99. I will always be stumped as to why he is not bigger in the U.S. than he is. People ask me who I would compare him to sound wise and I say "nobody". He just puts out great grown-up rock and roll.

If you don't know who he is check out his website and listen to his tunes and get educated to his politics. http://matthewgood.net and http://inacoma.ca to check out his box set compilation of tunes and videos.

Monday, September 19, 2005


On a lighter note......this is one of my favorite times of the year. It's CALENDAR time!!

This is when I buy calendars for my wife's family in Bolivia. They only have shitty calendars with saints and virgins on'em an not much nudity or artwork to speak of.

Two of my brothers-in-law are really easy. PLAYBOY!! My wife, who is a saint and my COMPLETE opposite, always gets upset because when I get the Playboy calendars I open them "to make sure all of the months are there". The regular issue calendar is always boring because the poses are cliche' and are repeated every year. I force myself to check that one but I REALLY enjoy the college girl issue. My wife's brother-in-law has saved all FIFTEEN Playboy calendars that I have sent him.

I bought a really good one for my sister-in-law this year. It's really nice black and white shots of Paris. One of my other sisters-in-law will receive the traditional Sierra Club calendar and most others are undecided at this point. My other brother-in-law does not want Playboy because he has two little daughters now but I found this neat vintage pin up girl calendar that I'll probably send him.

I usually end up buying about ten calendars.

Three brothers-in-law
Three sisters-in-law
Mother-in-law
Three nieces
One nephew

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I'm at work at 5 fucking in the morning dealing with fucking morons. They have no fucking clue and ask me stupid fucking questions. So this jerk off comes up and I tell him to put his paperwork on the counter. See, I do this so I can grab what I need, check it, and get these dumb fucks down the concourse.

"Please, can't you say please?"

"What?" says I as am doing what I need to do.

I give the guy back his stuff and tell him he's all set.

"What's with you guys that you can't say PLEASE."

I wanted to say please right then.

I wanted to say please go FUCK yourself!!

You see, I work with the public but I'm not a public ass wiper. I respect them but those fucks need to understand that they need to respect me too. In fact the public needs to understand that people who deal with them such as waiters or taxi drivers or store clerks are trying to do something FOR them. They're trying to help THEM out with something. They're not servants, they're not less than them so they need to be grateful.

I believe, and I'm sure if you've worked with the public before you believe, that people like this guy aren't only assholes to you but they're assholes to EVERYBODY so much to the point that everybody that knows this guy thinks he's an asshole.

whew

Have a wonderful day/evening

PRO

Choice
Gay rights
Immigration amnesty
Death penalty
Gun control
Lifting Cuban embargo
Flat tax rate
Alternative fuel source development
Sex ed in schools (including BOTH abstinence and condom)
English immersion for 1st and 2nd graders who don't already speak English
Changing election day from Tuesday to Saturday AND Sunday

Saturday, September 17, 2005

ANTI

War in Iraq
Congressional pay raises
Space program (other than communication satellites)
Minimum mandatory sentences for non-violent drug offenses
Designated Hitter
NAFTA and CAFTA
Federal control of education (except for setting unified standards)
Tax break for big business
Taxpayer funding for sports venues for pro sports franchises
Increasing the number of worker visas

And, my fellow Americans, if you elect ME as your President......

I will propose the following legislation.

Gasoline prices will be determined by the car you drive. If you drive say a hummer or large vehicle of that type you will pay $8 a gallon.

If you drive a vehicle with 8 cylinders you will pay $6 a gallon.

If you drive a vehicle with six cylinders $5 a gallon

If you drive an economy vehicle you will pay $4 a gallon.

A gallon of gas for a hybrid will cost you $3.

Buy that Hummer or Suburban or large SUV and you will pay $5,000.00 extra in taxes and a federal tax of $1,000.00 a year to register it.

My intent is to wean America off of fossil fuels within 20 years of me taking office by making it increasingly expensive to use gasoline. These prices that you see will rise each year by 20%. Anybody caught trying to fill his or her vehicle with gasoline at a cheaper price than set forth here will have that vehicle SEIZED by the government and must pay a penalty of the FULL VALUE of that vehicle when it was purchased new.

Any oil company found speculating with what will be "set in stone" gasoline prices will be fined 10% of that company's value as determined by government auditors and it's CEO, CFO, COO and board of directors will be jailed for a term not less than one year.

As a result of these tax increases ALL public transportation will be FREE.

Call me radical.

I met Mr and Mrs Hugh Jackman at the airport this morning. They were flying down to L.A. to attend the Emmy Awards. He's nominated. Very very nice people. We chatted and laughed out loud for about 10 minutes. He's up here filming X-Men III.

I didn't win the 250 million dollar megamillions lottery last night and boy am I PISSED OFF!!!!

I shot this pic of my daughter down at Pike's Market in Seattle. I proudly showed it to my son, his girlfriend, and my daughter and announced.."I call this one 'Girl With Crabs'". There was about one second of stunned silence after which we all busted out laughing. Sometimes it's just fun, ya know?

Friday, September 16, 2005

I met Alice today. Also known as Leisha Hailey. What a nice person. We chatted about the L word of course. It shoots up here in Vancouver for those of you who don't know. Season 3 filming wraps in a week but she said they'll be back up in November or so to do some fill-in stuff.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

'nuff said




So I've been looking through all of these photos. I'm looking for a good picture of me and although I know that the pickings are slim I didn't think I would find some of the horrors that I've dug up. I has hammered home the reality that as much as I have tried, I am just not cool. I've always known of course that there were people cooler than me but I though I was at least a little cool.

But alas I am no longer worried about it because although I can still get young good looking women to laugh I KNOW that I am a 47 year-old fat guy.

I had my days and they were great days. I mean check it out you younger kids. What songs do you hear on the radio? A lot of them are from MY day when I grew up. So even though I don't look or sound cool now I will always have that on you. I can pity you because the sound track of MY life was composed by the likes of Elton John and The Who and The BEATLES and Pink Floyd. I remember when Jimi and Janis and Jim were ALIVE, You poor guys got stuck with NSYNC and Michael Jackson and Bryan Adams.

Sure, you had some cool bands but I grew up with the bands your bands emulated. The undiluted birth of what you now know as rock and roll.

Gee, I feel better now then when I started this one. Thanks guys. I knew I could rely on you.


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

This is the last time I'll mention this here. Promise. My photo blog is up. I even changed the name on the link. It's by no means as good as some others out there but it's my stuff so you can get an idea of what I like to shoot. This little girl is one of my shots. Oruro, Bolivia. 1994. Hand colored B&W.

Day off. Cloudy. Daughter's dentist appt. Back ache. Golf for money.

Yesterday I spoke with several people of Iranian descent. They were going to New York because the newly elected President of Iran is going to speak at the United Nations. There was the kid who was going to protest for human rights. There were the two ladies who were going to protest Iran's nuclear program and for women's rights. There was the elderly couple who were going to protest as well.

Mixed in to all of this is a group called MEK. The letters stand for words that name the organization but I can't recall the name right now. This group is a PRO DEMOCRACY group who's members are advocating more liberties in Iran and who are trying to get the repressive religious leaders to let loose of power. They want what I want. They want what you want. They want what President Bush wants in Iraq.

The Department of Homeland Security acknowledges MEK as a PRO DEMOCRACY group. Yet at the same time MEK has also been designated by the Department of Homeland Security as a terrorist organization.

Interesting to say the least.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Butt nekkid Tuesday. Forty six years ago.

Half naked Thursdays are for wimps!



I went to downtown Vancouver on Sunday to play photo journalist. Expecting to go to one rally I found three going on. I signed a petition at the Chinese rally. I listened to a speaker talk about gun sales at the Make Poverty History rally. Then I headed over to the U.S. Consulate for the featured event. The marijuana rally.

I listened to the main guy who the U.S. wants to jail for life talk about the evils of the U.S. which was OK but then he said something utterly ridiculous. Recently a young woman in Victoria died while using drugs. I do not remember if it was meth or ecstasy. But this guy said "she didn't die because of the drugs, she died because the drugs are illegal". "If those drugs had been legal she would be alive today" he said. And the crowd cheered.

You can legitimately say that Canada should not extradite an Canadian to the U.S. when Canada will not prosecute that person for something the U.S. wants to jail them for. But when somebody says something as stupid as this guy, who is a politician, said about the needless death of a young person it just begs for logical explanation.

And that is my political statement of the week.


My wife can tell you the day of the week on which each of my kids were born.

I can't.

My wife can tell you how old they were when they took their first step.

I can't.

I always wonder when the first time my kids thought "fuck off dad".

Until now I did not realize that I had actually captured one of those moments on film.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Hey boys and girls! Only one week to International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

http://talklikeapirate.com


Sorry but I'm bored, unmotivated, and not feeling much love lately so WTF?

Dumbass JETS!! Losing to a team with no defense. Arizona State snatched defeat from the jaws of victory too. What are ya gonna do?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Bangladesh. One of the poorest countries on the planet is repeatedly pummeled by typhoons and floods that kill hundreds at a time. Most of it's people not only live in extreme poverty but fight starvation daily. Bangladesh pledged one million dollars towards hurricane katrina relief.

The National Football League where players make millions of dollars in salaries and who's billionaire owners intimidate cities and taxpayers to build them multimillion dollar stadiums . A league that makes millions in combined TV and merchandise revenue each year. The National Football League pledged one million dollars towards hurricane katrina relief.

This quaint gift shop in St David, AZ had a huge tree growing thru and was around since I was a kid. One day the tree decided to take matters into it's own hands. It took out the shop but paid dearly.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Wanna have some fun?

http://humanforsale.com

According to them I'm worth

$1,487,900

My wife is entertaining offers from any interested parties.

I LOVE ARUBA!!

What happened was a tragedy that can and does happen everywhere but I would not hesitate to return to Aruba. The pics below are from the north shore, the golf course near the north shore, and a beach that the locals go to. The bottom photo was taken on the grounds of my hotel.

Food is priced there pretty much the same as the U.S. and Canada with a lot of the same fast food and chain restaurants like Burger King on up to Tony Roma's. Lots of good local restaurants too and if you go you HAVE To go to King's Ribs on Sunday afternoon. Get there early though because they sell out.

As you can now tell I LOVE my new scanner.






Thursday, September 08, 2005



Ya know, a lot of Canadians disagree with my view of things and I disagree with a lot of theirs but I will always say that some of the best days we spent as a family were spent in Canada.

I really liked the weather.



The kids thought it felt just like Arizona!

Some of them got to meet some of the nicest people.

I even got to stand at center ice at the Saddledome in Calgary

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The photo blog is up. I finally went down to Best Buy and bought a top line scanner. Really easy to use. My 14 year-old help me set it up. All of the photos are mine. The black and whites were shot, developed, AND printed by me with very few exceptions. I even did some hand coloring.

Click on the link that says light.

I hope you enjoy.

Day off Day OFF DAY OFF YIPEE

Going down to Bellingham today for an eye appt for my son. Gonna buy a scanner, A SCANNER??? people ask. "Don't tell me you have a black and white monitor".

You see! I get the stuff from people when I mention computer. People ask me what my computer is and I tell them "Don't know". How much ram? "Don't know". Is it important? When I was growing up we used to ask "what's it got under the hood"?

I didn't know then either. I just filled it with gas and it got me to the mall. Just like now. I turn the thing on and it gets me online.

Now my 14 year-old SON knows. My son knows that this computer sucks because warcraft moves so slow. If my son would have grown up in the seventies he would have had the fuel injected, V8, big cam, thrush headers, four barrel carbed monster that would have beat me to the mall by say, five minutes.

Of course he probably would have gotten all of the chicks too.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005





Oruro, Bolivia is the folkloric capital of Bolivia. I lived there for six months as a missionary and years later while my wife and I were dating we went out to Oruro to watch Carnaval. Carnaval in Bolivia is similar to those around the world in that it is before lent. What I liked about it the most is that it is four days of no rules water fights. If you were in the streets you were going to get wet.

We stayed at my wife's cousin's house in Oruro which was great because the parade passed right in front of the house. I had a day's supply of water balloons and the crowd around us was in awe that I could throw them so far. One time I let my guard down for just one second and a kid from across the street nailed me good. So I pick up a bucket of water and I'm chasing this kid around and everybody is in histerics. There was a break in the parade (parade participants are prohibited from being targeted) while I chased this kid. Then I let loose with the bucket. Needles to say I missed the kid and drenched an innocent woman. I was walking back to the house and turned to see a lady in hot pursuit. She was screaming at me and mentioning the police.

My wife's cousin jumped between me and the lady and I thought the two were going to throw punches. The lady mentioned that she was going to have the foreigner (me) arrested to which my wife's cousin, who was 20 years older than me, responded, "he's not a gringo, he's MY son". Between that and the crowd booing the lady she backed down.

That's how Teresa became my "Bolivian mother". Whenever I saw her that's what I called her and I was her "hijito" (ee HE to) or little son.

My Bolivian mother lost her battle with cancer last Friday. It was diagnosed in the advanced stages and took her very quickly. She is at peace and her pain is gone.

Mine will linger a bit.


Monday, September 05, 2005


HAPPY BIRTHDAY FREDDIE!!!













I traveled by train across the whole of the Altiplano of the Bolivian Andes. I had the chicken in the dining car before finding a seat to myself in one of the cars rolling on the rails through the night. I was able to stretch out somewhat. A woman sat down across from me and started talking in Aymara to me. I answered in Spanish that I did not understand Aymara and her speech transitioned into Spanish. She told me that I was embarking on a long journey. My mother held a baby to her breast and sang softly and prayed aloud. I saw the hope in her eyes. I saw a young boy walking across a desert into a forest and into a jungle and into a city and an old man in the desert with wrinkles on his face and a child in a swing. All of this was in Spanish narration because I realized that no voices could be heard. I told the woman that I was cold and she said it's because you have no blanket and I saw my wife swollen with child as a blanket was draped over me. She looked at me and said, "you feel empty but you are full. You feel abandoned but you are fufilled". I could not take my eyes off this woman. She was what I can only describe as a handsome woman. She had a very proud look to her and an aura that was calming. She spoke to me during the night and I cannot recall the words but the calming effect stays with me still.

The train coming to a stop at the salt flats of Uyuni jolted me awake. A voice across from me said, "you slept well amigo". It was the conductor. "What happened to the woman who was sitting here?" I asked. "Woman? There was no woman. I was sitting here all night. You are in MY seat so I sat here." I looked at the end of the bench seat and it said. "Conductor" I realized the blanket that had kept me warm all night was gone. The woman had been a dream. I stepped off the train in the freezing morning and saw a woman walking away from the train. A woman draped with a blanket.

College football in the U.S. has started and the kids are heading back to school. The girls, both young and old, are starting to put more clothes on and people are beginning to cherish the sunny days that they took for granted these past months.

Another summer is over.

My 48th on the planet. I haven't lived in the hot climate of Arizona since '98 and I sure do miss those thunderstorms. Sunday I complete 17 years of working for this company I work for and according to how it stands I have 15 more years unless I win the lottery. I've got it good though. For a kid who only has a high school edjumacation I've got it pretty damned good.

Hockey's coming and my boy Oleg will be playing in Phoenix while I'm home. (IF I get home) I gotta give him a ring. Arizona plays Stanford in Tucson and college basketball aint far away.

Summer's over but man do I love the fall.

Click on the Bolivia link to see what a city of 700,000 does once a year. Trust me, you'll be amazed and wish your city could.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A dream sent through the night.

May I have this dance?
Can we glide across the room
as the candle silently fades
into a ribbon of smoke?

Can I touch your hair?
May I feel your satin skin
softly rub against mine
and warm my soul?

Can you hear the rain?
May I kiss your wanting lips
feel your body go limp
within my embrace?

Islamic day part 2. I had a really good conversation with a Muslim man who had escaped persecution in Somalia for the safety of the United States. He had a pamphlet in Arabic. He used to be a preacher or Imam but now he travels to see friends and family and teaches. He explained the pamphlet to me.

There are three types of people. The first are ignorant or unknowing. The second are those who know what they should not do but are weak and transgress. The third are those who know and purposely transgress.

An ignorant man went into a mosque and started to urinate in a corner. The people in the mosque wanted to grab him and throw him out of course but the prophet stopped them. "Let him finish" he told the group. The prophet then got water and cleaned up the mess and took the man aside. He told the man, "this is a mosque. It is where prayers are said and the Koran is read. It is not for urinating". "Oh God have mercy on me!" the man exclaimed.

The Imam explained to me that if the prophet would have allowed the men to grab the ignorant man things would have been worse as you can imagine. If you stop in the middle of urinating it can cause health problems. If you grab a man when he is urinating the urine goes all over. OR the man could have ended up naked after the struggle which is the worse of all.

The Imam told me that the man asked forgiveness from the prophet but looked at the crowd and said "but don't forgive them".

At that point I said "ah but the man must forgive those who were going to transgress against him" to which the Imam said, "yes, you are right".

We talked for about an hour about Islam which I know is a religion of peace. We parted as happy friends.

Years ago the then head of my religion was asked what we should think of people practicing other religions. His answer was that people who are steadfast in seeking righteousness are on a path towards righteousness and we should be joyful and respectful of them.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Today was an Islamic day for me. I met an Iraqi/Canadian who had just recently finished his PhD studies. His specialty is trauma in children. In 2003 he had traveled to Iraq with a group to do a study on the traumatic effect of the war on the children of Iraq. Of course we can all guess and imagine of the trauma these children go have and are going through so I asked the man.

"What did you discover that surprised you?"

He told me that the children could relate stories of people being killed by bullets and bombs and beheadings without any emotion. He told me that the children spoke of those things in the same tone as I would speak of say, my computer breaking. (which was the example he gave)

He also told me that when they asked the children what their hopes for the future were the grand majority expressed a hope to die fighting for their country. I, of course, was flabbergasted. I made a comment that it appeared that these children now believed that the only thing that they could control was the manner of their deaths. He responded that I was exactly right and that most children who had been severely abused either physically or mentally had that same syndrome that the only thing they could control was their death.

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