Zona

Today is the birthday of my first kiss. The first woman to say that SHE loved ME. It came at a time when those things were strictly forbidden to us. She is from a part of Bolivia where my wife refuses to let me wander alone. Now that you know that I remember her birthday, can you blame my wife for prohibiting my travel there?

Sure, I would love to see her again. To say hello. To see how she made out in here life. To wonder aloud with her if we would have had a chance.

Now that you know this (and this includes my kids who read this blog) I will tell you that the topic is not open for discussion.

50 this year

I remember when I was a boy, an adolescent, a young man, and my eyes filled with a vision of a girl and my heart skipped a beat. She was everything at that point and time that I could ask for. In the school yard we would send messengers to ask questions in order to probe the possibilities. Discretion was always the objective because transparency of desires risked heartbreak and humiliation and a world crashing down upon a fragile dream.

In the classroom we drafted love notes that would get stuffed into lockers or unattended jacket pockets under it got back that the object of our desire was interested and we were left with the dilemma of revealing a trembling Cyrano whose hand was glorious but whose visible flaws might cause concern to the group of friends who guarded the purity of our Roxane.

The anxiety was a force that left us dangling and the waiting was eternity. Were we to be escorted through the gates of the castle through the double row of trumpeteers? Or were we to be pushed off a rising drawbridge into the cold darkness of the water and have insults hurled down from the castle walls?

I learned to swim simply as a method of survival and my arms grew strong from pulling myself up on the muddy, weed overgrown bank of the moat.

My young life was a constant repetition of rejection. Now I have it pretty good. I sit on a tall horse near the same moat wearing scarves of victory over evil forces. I've come to realize, now that I look at the long abandoned castle with it's drawbridge tumbled and half emerged in the mud bog that used to be my drowning pool, that it was all illusion. It was all my inexperience of love. The trumpeters have long gone and Roxane lives in a single wide trailer in the desert scrub brush and her "Christian" lives in a monthly rate motel by a long bypassed highway.

Things I found out today

There are 13 magazines about fishing
There are double that number about guns
William F. Buckley (credited with creating modern conservatism) died.
He said that people with AIDS should be tattooed to prevent them from spreading the disease
He thought that only educated people should be allowed to vote
He defended Joseph McCarthy
I owe the govt 5K in taxes

fuckers

Who the fuck do these idiots think they are?

I get a break at work everyday. I take it at the same time everyday. I go to the same place everyday. I sit in a chair in front of a huge window. It's my area of zen. It's where I find my balance.

Well this morning when I went over, there was a pair of fucking tourists sitting at MY place! I wanted to go over and say, "hey buddy, you're in my chair so kindly get the fuck off it and take your bitch with you!"

THEN later in the shift I decided that sushi was in order. I was CRAVING my sushi. But when I walk into the door of my fave place I see some ASSHOLE sitting in MY chair at the bar.

FUCKERS!!!

I need to buy me a flame thrower.

Hastings Street, Vancouver. I've wanted to shoot this since the first time I saw it. I'd cut down that damn tree if I could get away with it. At least winter knocked all those annoying leaves off so I could get a clearer shot

Pigeon Park, Vancouver.

This is going to be one of my fave all time. Shot from the driver's seat one handed through the passenger side window while the light had changed to green.

The human heads bowed by the cold and rain while another stuffed animal dangles by an angry eye that curses the whole scene.

It is only when I am alone that I see the true romance of this world. The illusionary color vanishes and the warmth takes over

The space in my mind where I store memories of hopes and dreams and schemes and wants and loves that never got carved into reality and now lie weather worn

The train in the night with the lights and the horn and the crossing warning attracts me like a moth to flame. Just the power and the thunder of the scene.

Is it just me or is the grass greener? Is it because I'm selfish to want things other than what I decided on? Or do I just like the idea of fleeing?

// posted by sinner @ 9:59 AM 1 Comments

The road awaits me
The pavement elates me
Two lane paradise
Cut through the landscapes
of my dream

I have been granted vacation time from May 11th thru May 24th

I'm gonna hit the road again

Camera, computer, iPod, gas money

My heart leaps again and yearns for the date to come quickly

You Are a Traveler Soul

You're a thrill seeker who loves to be active and on the move You love to wander: between places, ideas, and people. A good communicator, you're a nonconformist and interested in the world. You are an explorer, a good storyteller, and a true dreamer. Because you're always on the move, you can be a bit fickle. It's difficult for you to make personal commitments. Don't be so quick to ignore emotional issues and problems. You're much more intuitive and psychic than you think. Souls you are most compatible with: Retrospective Soul and Dreaming Soul

My daughter and I had lunch at the Olive Garden in Bellingham and she decided to ask me a bunch of questions. I'll expand on them here.

What is your favorite meal?

I told her that it was more than the food in many cases. It was the overall experience. Here they are in no particular order.

The Chateaubriand at the sidewalk cafe on the main plaza in Oruro, Bolivia.
The Chicken Marsala at Dante and Luigi's in South Philadelphia
The Pork Cutlets with Spring Vegetables at Edelweiss in Miami
The Hot Dogs at Jack Murphy Stadium (Qualcomm now) in San Diego
Breakfast at my mother's house in Tucson
The Lasagna I make
My wife's Torrejas with beets.
A T-Bone steak at Li'l Abners in Tucson
The Clam Chowder at Earl's in Calgary
The Chile Rellenos at La Poblanita in El Paso
The Cheeseburger at Love's in San Clemente
The Saltenas at Ely's in La Paz, Bolivia
The Prime Rib at The Outback Steakhouse anywhere
A box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies
A pint of Haagen Daze cherry ice cream
A Pop (portion size) Shrimp at Lucky Wishbone in Tucson
The Alan Roll and Unagi at Maguro in Ladner, BC

What would you want as a last meal?

A T-Bone steak.

(Although I hope that I don't know that my last meal IS my last meal)

I arose this morning at 3AM on my day off to begin a new project. I want to dive seriously back into black and white photography by doing low light shots. It's godawful cold and it was windy too but I figure the early morning guarantees less people out and about versus late night. This shot wasn't too far from the house. I waited patiently for a train to come by as they do quite often during the night.

I have made a donation

The first time in my life that I have made a campaign donation.

I give my official endorsement in the campaign for President of the United States to,

Barak Obama

I am most certainly going mad.

It's gonna be a day off again due to this bronchitis that I have but it's 3:30AM and I'm up. I curse this hour on a work day but long for it on my days off. My sleep pattern is locked to it and it feels so nice to be up in the quiet darkness that is the living room. I have my iPod with me and a mellow set of tunes that I refer to as "after dark" is keeping me in such a nice mood. Earth, Wind, and Fire's Reasons is playing as I type. If you haven't heard that greatest of "make out songs", well, you just aint lived my friends.

I need another coke and then it's on to surfing and back to a nice conversation with a midnight shifter from the snowstorm back east.

ta

The doc says I have Bronchitis

But I got to see some pictures that make ME want to take pictures. Got to play with'em. Had me some Mexican food and bought another shirt and pair of pants. I called work and told them that I won't be in tomorrow either.

Cold, windy drive down some back roads and I found some shots I wanna take come spring time.

Overall, not a bad day.

Crook sonsabitches!!

So the Federal Reserve Bank drops interest rates and the analysts say that this will effect short term loans, mortgages, and credit cards.

It did.

I got a letter from Bank of America. They were so happy by the Fed's move that their RAISING the rate on my credit card over 30%!!

mufuggin' SLEAZEBALLS.

So much for Europe this year.