Zona

I'm 52 today and I celebrated by making my breakfast. 2 eggs over-easy cooked in the same grease created by the three slice of bacon cooked "chewy". two slices of wheat toast and a large glass of milk.

I feel my immortality more and more everyday and find myself thinking, "is this the last thing I'll see?" while imagining some heart attack or fatal accident. Dumbass silly I know but probably all very normal.

Mom's in town and we're all gathering here at the house later for chinese food and cake. My birthday is never a big deal for me anymore but there are some formalities I guess and hey, chinese food!

I hope to play golf tomorrow after putting in 4 hours of work for 8 hours of pay on a day off.

My knees complain when I squat down to get photos out on the mud and salt flats of the Great Salt Lake.

In my mind I am still young. My body has to remind me that I'm not.

It's okay. My children are grown and on their own feet in many ways.

I have commented to Daily Star stories online for a number of years. You could even say it's been more than 30 years if you count a letter I submitted when I was in high school in the 70's. I recently posted a comment on an article of the death of a young Tucsonan in Afghanistan. It was the same comment that I had posted for an online Star article a few years ago when I read of another young Tucsonan who had been killed in Iraq. It was a message of condolences to his family, and then I simply said, "support our troops, bring them home". The online editors deemed this to be "politicizing" and I learned that I was banned from commenting.

I am a native Tucsonan and have been reading Tucson newspapers all my life. At one time I delivered the Citizen. I no longer live in Tucson because of my work but when I travel home to visit my aged mother I often get up in the morning and walk a block to a convenience store and buy a hard copy of the Star. My mother has a computer but I prefer to read a paper version when I am in Tucson.

I was not advised that I had been banned on commenting until I contacted the Star by email when I found that my comments weren't posting. The Star Online Staff did not have the courtesy to contact me prior to that. Online Editor John Bolton replied, "You ignored the warning not to politicize the comment thread on the Tucson soldier's obituary, so you have been banned from further commenting". I asked how a message of support for our troops and a wish for their safe return was "politicizing". He has not responded to my question.

A comment that was previously posted on the same type of story has gotten me banned now. It makes me wonder if the online staff of the Star would side with a recent Caltrans decision to paint over an American Flag on a California frewway after deeming it to be graffiti.

The most interesting posts will never be posted

The secret happenings and thoughts are the happenings and thoughts that I keep for myself. Some are expressed, but not here. Some people know them, but not you.

I am not sleeping well. I'm not tired, more restless than anything. Call it a wanderlust of the soul. Trying to find the perfect image to lay me into a peaceful sleep. Trying to find the perfect song to take me to the perfect mood during the quiet times awake in the low light filtering in through the drawn curtains.

One of the oldest neighborhoods in Tucson is simply called El Barrio. Just south of downtown, El Barrio used to be filled with various generations of the original Mexican inhabitants of Tucson. Sometime in the 70's the yuppies started moving in. They bought houses cheap and "restored" then to their idea of what "quaint" should be. Bright colors and word spread and before you know it, prices started to creep up.

Old Fords and Chevys are now replaced by beemers and SUV's with animal right and liberal causes plastered on the bumpers. Now most of the "quaint" barrio are white yuppies probably trying to figure out how to keep Starbucks out.

One of my favorite restaurants, El Minuto, is on the edge of El Barrio. It's been open since 1936 but the people who used to line up for menudo on Sundays have mostly moved on after either selling for a good price, or moved farther south where house values, and property taxes, are lower.

My mother sits and reads in this chair. She reads a lot. Mainly autobiographies now. I was in Tucson last week to spend time with mom on the anniversary of the passing of my father. Needless to say, it's not a good week for her. I was able to make it much better this year.

In a conversation my mother said that she would not like to go back and do her life over. Many of us wish we could, but not my mother. My mother is quite happy with how she lived her life and she is not afraid that it is winding down to it's end. My mother believes that when you die, someone comes for you. An escort to the afterlife.

"I'm happy with my life", she said. "I'm ready to go anytime and I will run to whoever comes for me. Just know I was happy".

Arizona has some of the planet's most spectacular scenery but also some of the planet's most below average politicians.

Got bored. It goes against my anti-social nature. Decided that since I wanted to ax most of my friends anyway that I'd just bail the whole thing once and for all.

Maybe I'll post here more often now.

Maybe.