Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The "N" word as assigned by the big "V"

NUDE A bit of a no-brainer for me. Nude, nudity, naked, nekkid. I have tons of ideas for nude photography and one day will find a couple of brave models and together we shall make history. I buy the Playboy calendar every year for my Bolivian brother-in-law and of course I must inspect it to make sure all of the months are there. My wife, and a good number of females I know, do not believe me when I tell them that Playboy nudes and semi-nudes are horrendously cliche' photography. The women are sometimes horrendously cliche' as well but every now and the one pops up that wows me. Of course the very best shots for me are the semi-nudes. Words like alluring and sensual come to mind. Cover the essential details and give me a woman with piercing eyes. Some of my favorite nudes are the self portraits I've seen. THAT'S when it becomes art composition as opposed to frank nudity. The woman composes her image to include her nude form and then allows us to see the result. That's real power in photography.

NURSE A funny story. WAY back in 1978 when I was a young 20 year-old righteous missionary in Bolivia I came down with Typhoid. I was rushed to a hospital where they hooked me up with some IV's and put me in a private room. Two young nurses.....two young CUTE nurses came in some time later and told me that it was time for my shot. I held out my arm and they nodded negatively. THIS shot, I was told, had to go in the butt. Now I had received shots in the butt before so it was nothing new. What I DID know is that they did not have to pull my underwear down that far and rub alcohol on my butt for so long. But who was I to complain? This happened two nights in a row. The third night and older (50ish) nurse came in and told me it was time for my medication. She asked me if I preferred the shot or the pill. "There's a PILL"? "Yes". DUH, pill please. The next night the two young nurses were back with a needle. You can imagine their disappointment when I asked for the pill.

I think back about that now as an old man with wisdom and experience and just shake my head. It could have been the same thing that I have since seen in a couple of naughty movies.

Oh well.

NOSEDIVE Hey girls, did you ever have that guy who you could talk to when you were in high school? The confidant? The writer of poetry? Now do you complain that men aren't romantic at all anymore? It's YOUR fault!! You see, I was one of those guys. Guys my age would date and that was norm. Me? I was more into wooing. The quietness of lying in the grass and feeling the breeze with smooth words. Just go ask Dani and Becky and Cindy. They'll tell you how I was. But NO! Those bitches were after the $$$. The material. Both of which I had none of. The young romantic took a nosedive in those days and was even a nice enough guy to comfort you when the other guys treated you like shit.

NOW This is when I want what I want. As in right frikking.

NOOKY See above as to when I want nooky.

NEWSPAPER I love to read the morning paper. This is why I'm so disappointed with Vancouver. Your newspapers SUCK! Calgary had good newspapers but Vancouver's are low quality fish wrapping. Years ago when I started this job I used to read the Los Angeles Times (San Diego County edition) because the delivery driver would drop off 5 or 6 copies as he passed the station. I even got to the point where I could complete most of the crossword on the weekdays. My dad read the morning paper and that's what got me started I guess. Mom still gets The Arizona Daily Star every morning. I noticed myself going through the obits everyday. Mortality sucks.

NAUGHTY I is a naughty boy. I have the wink and the wry smile that goes with it. Used to be shy but now I'm the Bob Segar line. "Aint afraid to look a woman in the eye". I'm a world class flirt and I've felt the pitchfork and the fire closing in on me from time to time.

NARCISSISTIC I've heard this word and I just looked it up finally in the dictionary to see exactly what it means. There's another n word that comes to mind when I try to apply this word to me. Nah.

NINE be to out turned six if. I don't mind. Just a tribute to Jimi. The greatest geetar player of all time.

NACO The paperwork was in my mail drawer when I got back from vacation. They want to know where I want to go when they determine that mine time is done in Canada. Naco, Arizona is a tiny one lane port on the border. A sleepy town full of drug runners south of Bisbee. The wild west is still playing there as shootouts between the Border Patrol and AK-47 armed smugglers are pretty common. Of course where I would be is very mellow and there's an 18 hole golf course right up the road. I'd live in a town called Sierra Vista which is growing in leaps and bounds. Naco is #2 on my list. 1) Tucson, AZ 3) Phoenix, AZ 4) Las Vegas, NV 5) Salt Lake City, UT.

If all goes well....I'll be back in Arizona by the end of the summer...but that's our secret ;)
okie dokie. fingers crossed
Damn bitches.

Great list of words, ZB. You haven't lost your touch.
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