Thursday, May 18, 2006

Holy Moroni dem Utah Mormons is CRAZY!!!!

Let me start by saying that I was born and raised Mormon but I am now inactive. Let me add that Mormons have this great ability to laugh at themselves.

On my way up north I drove through Southern Utah farm and canyon lands. Mellow sleepy country with a river meandering.

Then I merge onto Interstate Highway 15. Soon I have the Wasatch range in view and traffic slows as it goes though the construction zone in the big bend where the highway turns north to Salt Lake City.

I did not see the man in the tower waiving a green flag at the south edge of Provo. All I knew is that the speed limit sign said 65 but traffic was going 80.

I'm telling you those people have a true faith that they're going to the highest level of heaven when they die and they show it in their driving. NASCAR came to Utah and everybody was sponsored by one of the wireless companies because they ALL had phones in their hands. Now I'm not a timid driver but when my initials are on the car rental contract where it says I waive the insurance.......

I had a great time reading all of the Mormonesque billboard advertizing. I laughed out loud at some and unfortunately none of you would get the inside jokes. I did see one that almost caused me to lose control. You see, Mormons are a modest people. Or at least they're SUPPOSED to be, but when I saw a billboard with a young couple on it, him shirtless and her in just a bra and "Tired of shaving?" in big letters I just had to laugh.

Of course you just saw her shoulders and it was for a chain of lazer hair removal salons but I think the way most of you would if you saw something like that.

I knew that I was going to stop in Salt Lake to pop into the Hard Rock Cafe. I saw that the exit I wanted was also the exit to go to Temple Square. 600 South. You see Salt Lake was originally plotted out perfectly square so if you are at 600 south you know that you at 6 blocks south of the temple. The Hard Rock is at the corner of 500 south and 600 east.

Really easy stuff to figure until political correctness comes along. You see, I took the exit that was six blocks south of Mormonism ground zero to see that it's STILL 600 south but now it's also known as MARTIN LUTHER KING JR BLVD.

More laughs.

I wonder if there is a Joseph Smith Street in Atlanta.

I always get a kick out of Utah.

Comments:
i would love to go. you know i have a soft spot for mormons, jack mormons, and anything mormon. i didn't try....but they flock to me. so i should make a pilgrimage to the temple some day.
 
I'm sure utah gets a kick out o yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwah!
 
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