Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Danasaur says it shall be "I"

So here's my 10 I words.

I The most important word in my world. Why not? I do a lot for others so I'm not that selfish but I have needs and wants and dreams and desires. Some of these are quashed for the needs of others but all this effort comes from me, or, I. If I am not who I am nobody gets any I. That means pieces of me that are passed around to others. It sounds silly but I recharge by giving away because I get back in return. I lose when I keep hold. Like this road trip I just took. I got home exhausted because I am the biggest drain of I.

IF The word that signifies my many regrets. Many regrets. "If you could go back and change...." is the coward's way of escapism. You can't. You have to make better while moving forward. I fail at that a lot too.

INGROWN I have chronic ingrown toenail. No matter how I clip them. My big toes are the culprits. Yeah yeah, I should go to a pro to get them done. I have the $$ but you know what? You have to keep this a secret now. I LIKE ingrown toenails. I like to squeeze them like a zit because it feels so good to release that pressure. To go from pain to comfort is one of my fave feelings. Sadistic maybe? THEN I get to yank the dead flesh off and wait for another round. Currently they're both fine.

IDIOTS They surround me. They make up the biggest part of my battle to get through each day without grabbing somebody by the hair and slicing their head off with one fell swoop of a fine sharp blade. Then as they cowered in the corner I would toss the head over my shoulder, step forward over the carcass, point the sword at them and smile as I said, "who's next?".

INTERSTATE The word that describes a road. A path to alone joy. You already know how I feel about the road.

INTELLECTUAL Here's a news flash for ya. I'm not intellectual at all. I'm a common sense kinda guy. Intellectuals believe in a set reaction from a certain stimuli based on scientific theory and shitloads of graphs and results of lab rat experiments. I like knee jerk reaction partly because the phrase "knee jerk" sounds cool. Intellectuals look at classic artworks and define what the artist was thinking and the times and the influence of peers and local culture. I look at it and think, did ALL the women have tiny nipples way back then? Intellectuals believe that the consequence of sex is procreation and tend to explain it in a mature tone of voice. How boring is THAT?

IMPOTENCE Not a problem I have. Really made for some interesting commercials. Like those idiots who show up at the opera just in time for the end. Lady, color your hair and stay home for round two, and round three, and..... When Cialis first came out they were talking about it on ESPN's Dan Patrick show while I was driving down highway 99 on my way home.

Dan: "It says here that if your erection lasts over four hours you should call your doctor".

Rob: "What, to THANK him"?

I almost went off the road because I was laughing so hard.

IMAGINATION I hated school. School bored me and I was one of those classic "he has the talent, if he'd just apply himself" parent teacher comments.I want to be anywhere but where I am most of the time. I love to write but do so little of it anymore because I'm so lazy. I am a world class daydreamer which also makes me a world class romantic. I've saved the world, changed history, and shown women that an aging fat man can sweep them off their feet and carry them to the heights of all god's creation. In my head are the visions of happiness and the lament of deep despair. I carry on arguments in one moment and long for the touch of warm skin in another. I'm not different than most people in this area. I have a world waiting to be created but a wallet waiting to be filled so instead I close my eyes and it all unfolds before me, if only for a little while.

ILLEGAL On the advice of legal counsel I will not comment on how this word applies to me.

IMPASSE Can't think of anymore to say about "I" words. I'm not real articulate sometimes.

FAbulous list - and nicely
Illuminating words to depict
the Zona mystery man.
Wow, you haven't written this much for ages! We miss it!
You are wrong about intellectuals!!!
but now I have a tremendous headache missy
Great I words!
good writing - and above!
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