Saturday, February 04, 2006
Complete strangers come up to me at work all the time believing me to be psychic when all I'm really sure about is that 99% of them are complete and utter morons.
EXAMPLES:
Moron: Am I going to make my flight?
Me: I don't know.
Moron: Is it raining in.....?
Me: I don't know.
Moron: Is my luggage in here somewhere?
Me: I don't know.
And some more questions I get proving that they are indeed, MORONS.
Moron: I wasn't sure how to answer this question about food. I have some sandwiches. Do you consider that food?
Me: Are you going to EAT the sandwiches?
Moron: (at 5AM) So you're working the early shift?
Me: No.
Moron: Are you Canadian?
Me: Oui.
Moron: Is a horse considered livestock?
Me: Is it a LIVE horse?
Moron: Can my wife come too? (he doesn't know if I want them to come up together)
Me: It'll cost extra. (I don't use that much but it always soars right by'em)
Lady: Are you available? (meaning she wasn't sure if she could come to my booth to be processed)
Me: Are you discreet?
She got that one right away and we then had a really good conversation for about ten minutes. You see, I'll talk to people who interest me but the majority I just want to get out of my face.
Here's the most common exchange between me and travelers.
Me: Put it all on the counter. (because they have all of the paperwork I need to see in their hands)
Moron: What do you want of this?
Me: I want all of it.
Moron: Do you want the boarding passes?
Me: I want ALL of it.
Moron: Do you need this too? (a form they must fill out)
Me: All means EVERYTHING.
By then 9 out of 10 of them have figured it out. The other moron still thinks I'm kidding.
EXAMPLES:
Moron: Am I going to make my flight?
Me: I don't know.
Moron: Is it raining in.....?
Me: I don't know.
Moron: Is my luggage in here somewhere?
Me: I don't know.
And some more questions I get proving that they are indeed, MORONS.
Moron: I wasn't sure how to answer this question about food. I have some sandwiches. Do you consider that food?
Me: Are you going to EAT the sandwiches?
Moron: (at 5AM) So you're working the early shift?
Me: No.
Moron: Are you Canadian?
Me: Oui.
Moron: Is a horse considered livestock?
Me: Is it a LIVE horse?
Moron: Can my wife come too? (he doesn't know if I want them to come up together)
Me: It'll cost extra. (I don't use that much but it always soars right by'em)
Lady: Are you available? (meaning she wasn't sure if she could come to my booth to be processed)
Me: Are you discreet?
She got that one right away and we then had a really good conversation for about ten minutes. You see, I'll talk to people who interest me but the majority I just want to get out of my face.
Here's the most common exchange between me and travelers.
Me: Put it all on the counter. (because they have all of the paperwork I need to see in their hands)
Moron: What do you want of this?
Me: I want all of it.
Moron: Do you want the boarding passes?
Me: I want ALL of it.
Moron: Do you need this too? (a form they must fill out)
Me: All means EVERYTHING.
By then 9 out of 10 of them have figured it out. The other moron still thinks I'm kidding.
// posted by sinner @ 8:19 AM 
Comments:
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are you available / are you discreet is one of the best things i've heard lately. shame i can't use it (i don't work with people damnit).
heheeee you are such fun
heheeee you are such fun
lol, that was hilarious! you almost got me thinking, I wonder if I was ever one of those morons a couple years before I met you?
that's cool though that you have conversations with some of the people that pass through...I always find I'll try to make conversation just cuz they get me feeling so damn nervous that having a conversation is the only way I can feel human....but then when they don't want to converse back, I feel that they are so not human, and it kinda hurts a little.
that's cool though that you have conversations with some of the people that pass through...I always find I'll try to make conversation just cuz they get me feeling so damn nervous that having a conversation is the only way I can feel human....but then when they don't want to converse back, I feel that they are so not human, and it kinda hurts a little.
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