Zona

This year marks my 30th high school grad reunion. The thing is I don't know if there's going to be a gathering. The couple who did the last one moved back east where one promptly dumped the other for another lover which was a situation the other knew nothing about but was actually the whole reason for the relocation in the first place.

Somebody grade that sentence for me because I believe that's world class run onning.

Summer up here is so busy that it is now impossible for me to get any vacation time now anyway. I have the week of my birthday off but I'm planning something exciting for that time like driving to the arctic circle with a 25 year-old passenger seat cover.

Any volunteers?

So I will miss my classmates none of whom I have seen since the 20 year in '96.

I was looking forward to all the "she's really let herself go" and "husband #..." and "his secretary got mad and dimed him out to his wife" and then the embarrassing softball game on the Sunday to top off the weekend and how many GRANDKIDS were going to be passed around.

Nobody famous was in my class. Nobody that I know of has died since the last reunion. Just a bunch of lawyers and cops and the assorted doctor or six and one parole officer and maybe a couple of parolees.

Maybe I'll get a flyer at mom's house and give my email and order the official program or complain loudly that I never received the one I paid for in '96.

There's always 2016.

I think I'll show up to that one with a paid escort and have her play the role of my second wife. That might be fun. Maybe I could have her dime out the guys who hit on her so I could get in a fight and shit. I'd be 57 years old then. Maybe I'll just call him names.