Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I thought you might enjoy a little insider humor that a colleague emailed me.


1. FBI:
Searches for but cannot locate snake. After snake is
caught by the local police, FBI forms a Snake Task Force of
150 agents, sets up a command center, holds press conference
and assumes credit for capture of [a] snake.

2. Secret Service:
Forms a protective ring of agents around snake and escorts
to a safe area.

3. ATF: (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms)
Sends SRT team to arrest snake; they expend all of
their ammo, then burn the forest down killing the snake and
other local fauna. At a Congressional inquiry makes a
presentation on why additional funding is required to
properly train agents how to battle the threat of snakes.

4. TSA: (Transportation Security Administration)
Abides by Congressional ruling to prevent
"profiling" of venomous snakes, which requires "random" snake
inspections. Venomous snake escapes while TSA officials
strip-search non-venomous species.

5. IRS-CID: (Internal Revenue Criminal Investigation Division)
Performs an in-depth investigation of the snake and
writes a 100-page summary of why the snake should not be
prosecuted. The investigation is closed and all agents are
out of the office by 4:30 pm.

6. ICE: (Immigration and Customs Enforcement)
After obtaining permission from the BPA, CBP, FBI,
FPS, IRS, FINCEN, DEA, ATF, FAMS and the Girl Scouts of
America, they mail the snake a notice to appear on a specified
date for a status hearing. Snake never responds and is
promptly forgotten.

7. DEA:
Initiates a Title 3 and an MLAT investigation on the
snakes cell phone after discovering that the above agencies
have begun an investigation on the snake. Spends $3M to
discover the snake is not Colombian.

8. U. S. Attorney's Office:
Declines prosecution out of "professional courtesy."

9. Arizona Law Enforcement Agency
Shoots Snake.

works the same way all over this big fat world.
Oh my god.

Girl Scouts of America.

ZB, this one is priceless.
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