Zona

I will never play poker with Sue Johanson.

Sue Johanson is the host of "The Sunday Night Sex Show". It's a show in Canada that is one of my all time faves and I wish they would put a greatest hits package out on DVD so that Americans can enjoy it. She takes phone calls from people about sex and holds a straight face during many calls that go something like this.

"Hello Sue, I have these bumps all over my penis. They're kinda white and some closer to the head are yellow. Can you give me some help here"?

My all time favorite call was from a girl who didn't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings but wanted to know how she could tell him that his love for urinating all over her before they had sex bothered her.

You see if I were the host I would tell the caller. "Sweetie you don't have to mention it to him at all. Just go tell your father and he'll have a man to man with his prospective son-in-law and together I'm sure they'll come up with a solution and you'll find a new boyfriend who prefers the toilet over another human being for his urinating needs".

Sue is an expert on sexual matters and helps thousands of callers with their problems. I would very much like to meet her. I would bet that behind Don Cherry she's the most popular person in all of Canada.

Another segment of her show that I love is where Sue whips out a new sex toy and critiques it. Does it do what you want it to do and is it user friendly kinda stuff.

Sue gets at least one call a show from a woman who's goofy boyfriend/husband is trying to convince her to take it in the out door. Sue's take is what my take would be except I would suggest that the woman go buy a dildo the size of her man's penis and tell him that after she shoves it up his ass she might consider his wish.

Sue tells all these women something that has become one of my favorite catch phrases.

"Remember, it's YOUR anus".