Zona

The End

2011-05-21T00:17:00.001-07:00

Baby picture, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

This is my last post. Nobody reads this thing except for my mother and half the time the things I say here worry her to the point where she calls or emails.

When I started it was fun. It just isn't anymore. One day I may have it all printed out and hidden in a box for someone to find when I'm gone.

You've been a wonderful audience. Good night.

3 nice rainbows

2011-05-13T10:51:00.001-07:00

3 nice rainbows, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

So I did something I haven't done in at least ten years, I went fishing. I always say there's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Since life, on many occasions, has proven me out to be an idiot I like fishing.

I REALLY like catching I've never caught three fish this big so I REALLY liked it. Parts for the frying pan and parts for the garden.

I'm taking baby steps to get back into fishing and plan on working up to actually catching fish besides trout. Laziness kept me from catching salmon while I spent 5 years in British Columbia.

Fishing in Utah is pretty easy when you consider several lakes and rivers are within an hour's drive or so from the house and it's easy to buy a pole, hooks, bait, and a license.

What I really look forward to now is taking my grandkids fishing.

Youth wasted on the young

2011-04-15T13:19:00.001-07:00

Youth wasted on the young, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

My son was exiting southbound I-15 onto the Bangerter Freeway south of Salt Lake. A little too fast. A little too head-up-butt. The car hit the curve curb. This curb is twice as high as your standard curb. The car careened to the right as he fought to control it. He lost. At some point the air bags deployed and as you can see, the left front wheel was completely sheered off.

The car, turned mostly by the curved curb impacted the center divider proceed for a bit down the fast lane and then crashed again into the center divider.

My phone vibrated and lit up with Robert's name and I knew what had happened. Somewhere early in the conversation I asked if anybody was hurt.

"No."
"Are YOU hurt?"
"No."

By the time I arrived the ambulance had come and gone and I surveyed the damage before greeting the Utah Highway Patrolman. He cited Robert for failure to maintain a lane and not for speeding despite all evidence that he had been.

The tow truck showed up and took my beautiful red sled away. The wheel remains unlocated.

Today I picked up the check after the adjuster declared the vehicle a total loss. $4,397.30.

When we bought the car it had 18,000 miles. When Robert and I walked away from it the odometer was about 160,000. We got a lot of use out of him. I refer to the car as "him" because it had a real set of balls. You stepped on the gas and said "let's go" and he replied "okay".

I'm gonna miss this one. We sped together on some of the best roads in BC, Washington, Utah, and Arizona.

Damn damn damn.

Goodbye old friend, and thanks for saving my boy's life. A lesser car, and we'd be in far worse shape today.

2011-03-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

my church is crazy anal about membership records. they called me at 7:30 in the too early AM for me one morning. I have caller ID so I didn't answer. I was about to go back to sleep in my room at my mother's house when I heard my mother's phone ring. "he don't answer. let's call his mother".

they've lost my daughter's membership records. she's out somewhere in records purgatory and alarms are sounding in the church office building in Salt Lake City. they MUST find her.

I'm wondering how they got MY phone number since I didn't give it to them. maybe I don't wanna know?

so we eliminated all the possibilities that they were really cops in disguise, or creditors in costumes, and after they call my mother again my wife ends up talking to them. I don't want them to detect apostasy in my voice and shred MY records. I don't attend church anymore but hey, everyone needs an ace in the hole. my wife gives them some info on where she thinks Ilsen's records might be. you see, the church sends them around to where you attend.

Ilsen's can't be found. who knows HOW they even know her records are lost. they want her address but we're still reluctant to give it to them.

so yesterday I'm being driven over bumpy dirt roads after qualifying with my gun near the Mexican border when my phone vibrates.

it's the church.

Ilsen's records have been found in the Salt Lake City central records office. I'm so relieved!

they STILL want her address.

cops? creditors?

I tell the lady to call me back in two hours so I can write down the 1-800 number she's trying to give me. she doesn't.

last night my sister and I were texting back and forth about American Idol so my phone was on noise instead of vibrate when the church called me this morning...

at 7:30

they must think all Mormons are early risers. I see the number on the display. that's how I know it's them. I open and close my phone, put it on vibrate, and go back to sleep.

I wonder if my records got shredded

Perigee Moon

2011-03-20T10:10:00.001-07:00

Perigee Moon, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Big moon. Me take picture

my fave SONORAN hot dog

2011-03-17T12:12:00.001-07:00

my fave SONORAN hot dog, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

that place on 22nd. I don't know the name of that particular stand but to most Tucsonans you just need to say "that place on 22nd" and then narrow it down to "the one on the big dirt lot" and they'll know.

the local rag had a competition not long ago to determine the best Sonoran hot dog in Tucson and the idiots picked a Sinoloan hot dog. the difference is the bun on a Sinoloan dog is toasted.

I've had the dog at the Sinoloan place and this one has twice the flavor. gotta be the quality of the ingredients.

the place on 22nd also has a complete menu of other items including a wonderful tongue burrito

The good ol' days

2011-03-15T11:56:00.001-07:00

The good ol' days, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

when I was a kid golf was a bit different on the Tucson municipal courses. this is one of the few remaining signs of that era. (located at El Rio golf course) there were also signs in the 9th and 18th tee boxes that reminded golfers to put their shirts back on when approaching the clubhouse. I remember quite a few summer days where I played a round in cut-offs with my tee shirt stuffed into the back pocket.

I shoot a slightly better score these days but I haven't played without a shirt in a long long time. I enjoy golf because I don't care to practice or improve. it's not required. there is no pressure. I like to hit good shots, I love to swear, I love some of the trick shots I'm required to hit. I prefer to play alone but a good conversation is also welcome.

hard on myself and the drama don't help

2011-03-08T14:11:00.001-08:00

Sunrise with Venus over the Santa Ritas, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I have just over 2 weeks left on this TDY and I have never felt more burned out. I feel like I have accomplished nothing except dig a bigger hole sometimes. The drama of the situation with the locals and rotating shifts and pressure and cameras at every angle have take a toll.

It's hard to sum up the good and balance it out. There has been good. Dinners with mom and my sister and her family and a great b-day present and other things but I will always feel I've fallen short of putting myself in a better situation.

Culture shock in my spirit is hard to overcome and coming back to the borderlands will be hard to reconcile. I am in need of serious detox and will hopefully get it as Spring nears at home and the garden awaits to distract me.

No way I thought it would be this hard and no way I ever stay as long again.

2011-03-03T16:02:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I can't remember what this sign was for but I remember when it wasn't all busted up. I wanna say it was a restaurant but I'm not sure

100 years ago

2011-01-30T06:20:00.001-08:00

100 years ago, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I love old cemeteries. they open up my imagination as to who the people were and how they lived, how they were loved, and how they became left behind only marked by monuments for us to see so many years later.

I wonder how they lived and loved and it strips me down to basic emotion without all the accessories.

Many lived long, many gone way too young, and who were the mourners on that day and how was the weather?

The only markers I've seen that had a cause of death were those who died violently. "Killed by Indians", "Massacred", "Hung by Mistake".

There was one exception for the woman who died in child birth in 1777 in Savannah, Georgia. I wept for her. I mourn all, but I wept for her.

My hometown is heartbroken

2011-01-12T10:51:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Gabrielle Giffords lies in a hospital and, according to doctors, will survive her gunshot wound to the head.

The President flies in for a memorial at the McKale Center on the University of Arizona campus today.

Tomorrow a 9 year-old victim will be laid to rest.

One of the elderly victims died when he used his body to shield his wife from bullets. She suffered 3 gunshots to her leg.

Jon Stewart said that even though politics probably didn't play a roll it's troubling when the ramblings of the mentally troubled killer aren't too dissimilar to the rhetoric of those on the right.

Tom Brokaw said that we have to buy small bottles of shampoo to take onboard airplanes but the killer was able to buy a gun.

Mexico bound

2011-01-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Tons of pickup trucks loaded with second-hand goods have headed to Mexico since I've been here. Most were part of the annual "Paisano" or "CalMex" holidays parade of Mexicans living the the US who head down to the interior to visit family. Some are a big group of more local Mexican residents who go to yard sales and swap meets to by used items to re-sell at their second hand stores.

The most common items are washers and dryers and bicycles. Bicycles and large toys such as plastic kitchens for little girls always bring a smile to my face. I always imagine the joy on the faces of kids whose parents can't afford new items but buy these used toys that are as good as new to a child who receives them.

4 stars

2011-01-03T18:56:00.001-08:00

4 stars, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I am in my room and my wife is in the air back to Utah. I am my own man again. Of course it was good to have her here for the holidays and she DID enjoy the Tiffany ring I gave her for her birthday. I finally feel like I got her something she deserves. I hate the holidays because I never feel like I was good enough to the family but this year I feel really good about what I was able to do for Magaly on her 50th.

So I'm alone again and I don't have to worry about anyone but me in town. I can relax and get back to working some overtime and raking in the do re mi.

It has been some time since I traveled. I used to travel 2-3 times a year and I ALWAYS love a hotel where I can see the TV from the toilet. Wifi is a huge plus too.

The Border

2010-12-30T22:15:00.001-08:00

The Border, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I am in Nogales, Arizona working on the border. I signed up for 60 days and now am extending for another 60. Magaly came down to spend her birthday and the holidays with me. The weather has been nice but turned cold.

I have a room with a two burner electric stove, a fridge, a microwave, and wifi. Today I bought a toaster oven. Simple meals is the key and overtime is the popular activity.

What I like about TDY's is that I meet people from all over the country. Not too many are as old as I am and I see a lot of bright eyes and bushy tails.

Car exhaust and burning trash dumps in Mexico is a big reason I left the southern border. It's interesting to be back.

The trial is adjourned for Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I walked into a Federal Courtroom. I had been assigned a number and we had been placed in order. There were 35 of us. Federal Courtrooms are quite large. This one was all wood paneled with large portraits of former judges on the walls. Everyone was standing except for the judge. When I got in the room I was struck by what I heard. A man was singing. He was singing a hymn. I knew it was a man even though the voice sounded like a small boy. Never has such a soft sound pierced me to the core like that. But it wasn't just the voice, it was the source of the voice, the circumstance of the voice. The voice belonged to the defendant, Brian David Mitchell.

Brian David Mitchell is accused of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart from her home, keeping her captive, and raping her daily for the period of nine months.

When we had all reached our places the Clerk of the Court told everyone they could be seated. The Judge told the defendant that he had a constitutional right to be present during the proceedings but he would have him removed unless he stopped singing. He didn't and we waited while he was removed and taken to a room with a video feed. Then I and the other prospective jurors were sworn in. All but one of us were then excused and went back to the juror's lounge to wait our turn to be questioned by the attorneys in the case. I would wait all day until the court adjourned. I would return the next day and along with some new people, wait until my turn came to take the stand.

That night I received a phone call telling me to return again the next day. I was in the pool of 30 from which the 12 jurors and 2 alternates would be selected. We would again walk into the courtroom to the sound of singing. I sat behind the court artist and watched her drawing the defendant in chalk. Mitchell was lead out again and I watched him leave. When I turned back to the artist I caught sight of something that pushed me back on my seat. Elizabeth Smart, her sister, and her parents took seats two rows in front of me.

Since her kidnapping and recovery eight years ago Elizabeth Smart graduated from Brigham Young University. She is serving as a Mormon Missionary in Paris and was brought home for the trial. Elizabeth is a beautiful young woman and has a glow to her that made me think that this is not a woman who was kidnapped and raped. She smiled at someone and her smile was like that of an angel.

The Judge explained what was going to happen next. All the juror's numbers were on two sheets of blue paper that would now be passed back and forth between the prosecutors and the defense attorneys. They would be eliminating jurors until there were 14 numbers left. They would look at the blue papers, then their notes, and sometimes at us until they had the final 14. The papers were handed to the Judge. He looked at them then handed them back to the clerk.

The clerk announced that as she read the numbers she would be assigning new numbers to the jurors. She asked that any juror rise if his or her number was called. Then she started. The numbers came toward my number and then passed by. The man sitting next to me stood up. When there were 14 jurors standing the rest of us stood so that the jurors could make their way to the juror's box. I walked out of the courtroom and the trial began.

I walked out of the courthouse and took the train back to where I parked my car and then drove home.

Teddy's down on his luck

2010-11-09T14:11:00.001-08:00

Teddy's down on his luck, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Since the Olympics Vancouver has been cleaning up East Hastings. This park no longer exists as you see it here. The problems still exist. They've just moved them

2010-10-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

We have a mouse in the house. Down in the basement storage room. I want it's ass dead. I'm on it. We enemies and since it can't set no trap for me.....

UPDATE: Mouse ??/??/??-10/18/10. I hope there's lots of cheese in mouse heaven.

My sons

2010-10-04T00:16:00.001-07:00

My sons, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I love my daughters, but I envy my sons.

I look at them and see what they're doing at this stage of their lives and I envy them.

One is 25. I told him that I thought he was farther along than I was at 25 and he mentioned that I was married at 25 and waiting for the birth of my first child.

But then I mentioned that I was living in the third world and broke without a clue of what I would do. He, I told him, was living two blocks from the beach in Vancouver, BC. He learned to play the drums and had recorded with two bands albeit the recording were not heard by many people. He toured Canada and Japan with one band. I dreamt of those kinda things. He's doing it.

He has a decent job, an awesome apartment, and a girl who adores him. I had the third of those.

The other is 19. He's in college full time and has a nice ride at his disposal. He wants to be a chef and he works hard in the culinary program at Utah Valley University. He's had jobs and saved up for the cool electronic games. he bought his knives and uniforms and has brought home breads and a pie which he made and they were all fabulous. He fell just short of a goal he had to make a touring culinary team but I'm am very proud of him.

At 19 I was going nowhere and decided to do a two-year Mormon Mission. That was no small feat mind you but it did not require what university does.

I don't think any father is perfect and I have many regrets of little things I did or didn't do when raising them. I wish I could go back and hug the little guys more and maybe say, "yeah, you can have that". But I can't.

We all wish we could go back 10, or 20, or even 30 years knowing what we know now. I kinda did that through my sons sometimes. I told them that girls were not to be feared. I told them to always tell a girl how they felt when they had strong feelings and if they got rejected, or laughed at, to shrug and move on knowing what happened instead of later wondering what would have happened. And they did.

I'm proud of both of them and I envy them.

But in my envy I see two young men who are where they are because of where I took them, where I lead them, what I was able to provide for them, and show them, and teach them. (along with their mother of course)

And I realize that I did okay.

The interior of my deterioration

2010-10-03T23:31:00.001-07:00

Wonderful, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Every night lately I've been having vivid dreams which I remember. Dreams I used to forget. Lucid random electronic synapses that the brain uses to entertain itself during sleep. These dreams are the usual off kilter activities. Things that should work either don't work or work abnormally. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me, warning me, that I should be more wary of stress I'm repressing. Or here's a thought I just came up with. Maybe these dreams are doing to my brain what tears do through my eyes. Maybe they're leaching toxins from my soul.

As I write this, the memories of these dreams are fading into blank.

I sit here in the dark on my sofa. I should be asleep but I'm exhilarated to be draining thought. Like standing and throwing my arms upward and back. Tossing away thought that should concern me. Everyday worry that will be back in the morning, but not right now. Now is my time to show brash bravado. To dare a world I know won't answer right now, but later will come down like a thumb.

The best of my plans fall short lately. I'm in a hurry to get there like a child. But there's no there out there anymore. I want to run off to see friends, female friends, but the plan in my mind, the daydream, are laid to waste whenever I get close. Some beckon and call but we seem to live in opaque bubbles and though are bubbles my come close or even bump into each other, we remain unable to see and isolated.

Why can't people see what I see? Why can't they trust what I trust? I've had two people tell me others told them. So I cut loose and shake my head. Focus on what you see, not what you fear.

I just had a ghost brush by and turn around. It's still here but they never show themselves to me. They just let me feel they're there. Now it's gone.

Be patient, I'll get there. It just might take a little longer now. And for those who passed me by, you're at the back of the line again. I've always had this fault, this flaw, where people are more important to me than I am to them. That's okay though. I'm a forgiving sort.

Maybe because it's not that big a deal to worry myself with.

Mormon Conference, SLC

2010-10-02T19:52:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I am off on Saturdays so I told Maggie to get some Conference tickets for the 2PM session. She scored a pair from the bishop. I knew the weather was going to be great so I figured we'd picnic "old school" in Temple Square while listening to the early session.

We got to Temple Square about 9:30. Maggie noticed that the grass was kinda damp so we sat on a bench. We were soon approached by a pair of sister missionaries. They were after referrals. So Conference starts and we move to a dry spot on the lawn between the Tabernacle and the Meeting House where we can hear better.

I've been around a couple of times to take photos of the sideshow of street preachers outside but now I have my zoom lens on and am shooting kids. Maggie is enjoying watching a couple of toddlers while we listen to Conference. Two more sisters come up to chat us up and try for some referrals. About 30 minutes later two more.

So we haven't heard too much of the first session but that's no big deal. Maggie can watch the rerun later. What we have determined by this point though, is that we are too old and creaky to be sitting on the ground. We move to another bench in the shade.

I make another photo run and when I come back, Maggie's holding a baby. Maggie has found a girl from our ward in Vancouver and the two are talking. She leaves to find her other friends so Maggie and I eat our sammiches and tater salad. Soon enough it's our turn to go into the Conference Center.

I am telling you, this place is impressive. It's immaculate inside. We find seats and the choir walks in and goes through it's warm-up. I am totally stoked because there ARE NO small children allowed in and I don't have to worry about a concert malady of people holding up cell phone cameras in front of me, or singing bad, or tapping my seat out of time. I see old folks who probably saw David O McCay speak in the Tabernacle, and I see young couples. Some camera flashes are going off, and some people are talking on cell phones, oh, and I see a girl with her top cut kinda low. Not too low mind you, but just low enough so that I can see the top of the tattoo on her left breast. I look down and see that she has her entire left arm outlined for the complete sleeve job. This girl doesn't look ANYTHING like the kind of girl that would have these types of tattoos.

Ah youth.

2010-10-02T19:51:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

The people sitting next to us ask if we wouldn't mind switching seats with their branch president. So we end up on the main floor. People rise as some of the Apostles walk in and take their seats. I see something that ALWAYS make me laugh. An idiot is on a cell phone and waiving her hand. "look, I'm waving now, see me? down HERE". Then there are three more waving. Morons! I look where the General Authorities are seated and Elders Packer and Perry are TEXTING on their Blackberries. SO cool.

Now EVERYBODY rises as President Monson enters with his counsellors and they take their seats.

Conference begins and I am disappointed to find out the choir I assumed was the Tabernacle Choir, isn't. It's a family choir from Sandy and Draper, but let me tell you, they were wonderful. I voted to sustain everybody and thank some people. There are a couple of "are you kidding me?" moments as I see camera flashes during the session. I will admit to two "I woke up when my head nodded" moments. I felt bad for the two 10 year-old girls seated in front of me who were completely bored.

The session ends and we head out. There are 25,000 people moving on sidewalks outside and some idiots STILL decide to stop and chat, blocking half the sidewalk. ARRRRGH! We go back into Temple Square to grab the cooler and a backpack with my camera. I HATE crowds and trying to move through/with them and I'm kinda thinking it isn't worth the hassle, but then I see a guy playing a cello as the throng moves by.

I smile, grab my camera, and start shooting. Then I went over and tossed three dollars into the cello case. "Thank you" he says. The song he was playing?

I am a child of God.

2010-09-22T22:10:00.001-07:00

Phone Booth Reality, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I was eating at Applebees and heard a guy order a jagermeister and red bull. I used to tend bar and trust me, IF I made that drink, I would throw it at whoever ordered it.

I drove from Vancouver to Salt lake in one shot, again. That's 1000 miles if you're keeping score at home. Stopped to pee, chat, (45 minutes) nap (90 minutes) and eat. (60 minutes) it took 21 hours.

It was great, as always, to see the middle kids in Vancouver. Wanted to see more people but it didn't work out. That rarely does.

2010-09-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

My daughter Jennifer got remarried on Saturday. It was a small, simple ceremony. Luckily the groom's sister had her camera and was clicking away so I didn't have to worry about it. The little ones are very excited about their new daddy. My granddaughter has never seen her biological father so it's especially exciting for her.

We have the kids with us for a few days so the newlyweds can have a few days to themselves.

2010-09-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

We learned that my Aunt Teresa passed away 10 days ago. Sometimes news from Bolivia is late getting to us because it's too expensive for them to call us.

My Aunt Teresa loved me like no other aunt that I have and I loved her right back. I saw her in May when I was in Bolivia and now I am very glad that I did. My Uncle Lucho passed away a couple of years ago not long after I took this photo. His kidneys were failing and his death wasn't unexpected.

My Aunt's death was a sad surprise.

Vaya con Dios Tia.

The Opposite Of Sunset

2010-08-24T18:21:00.001-07:00

The Opposite Of Sunset, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

sometimes the evening is a pastel mistress that takes us quietly as the sun flees for the day.

sometimes the moon is a quiet romance contrast to the sun's shouting arrogant glare.

sometimes the quiet solitude is a welcome change to the daily garden parties.

even though in conceals the noises
even though it hides the meanings
even though it invites the mystery

2010-08-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

I still don't sleep well most nights. I wake up early. But I kinda enjoy the dark silence and the low light start of a day off. The quiet never lasts long enough though.

Tori Amos has been keeping me calm the last couple of days.

People come and go and lately I've decided to be a come and go kinda guy. Sometimes I feel bad that I ducked out of contact with some but then again I always had the tendency to overrate some online relationships. So I got selfish and just kept the interesting and interactive around.

Of course I have several ways of maintaining contact with different people. Some here, some there, some the other place, and some just in email.

I'm a strong believer in friendship of convenience in many cases and friendship of souls in other. It's all a certain kind of exploration that settles out a bit different for each person who walks in and out of the doorway I happen to be standing by at any given moment.

2010-08-17T19:46:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I walked into the neighborhood convenience store this morning to buy Powerade for the range.

I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt and light blue flannel snoopy pajamas. He put a large cup of coffee on the counter. He set a pack of smokes on the coffee then walked over to the ATM.

I told the cashier, "if you ever see me in here dressed like that, shoot me....twice".

I may not be a fashion savvy dude, but I DO have some self respect.

another day, another road

2010-08-14T13:29:00.001-07:00

I-70, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

up at 5AM and on the road. Helper, thru Price, Sunnyside, and I spotted this view while driving I-70. I had to take an exit that leads to ranches and then walk about a mile to get power lines and a fence out of the frame. Picked up some interesting rocks.

Back in the car and exit south on 191 toward Moab. Some red rock outcroppings get me to take a dirt road and a short hike. Those photos didn't turn out like I thought.

Stop for lunch in Moab. Bad mexican food and a customer who got snooty with the waitress because she found out the hard way that green chile has meat. The customer failed to tell the waitress that she was a vegetarian and blamed the non-mind reading waitress.

Back on the road and a relatively unproductive stop at a red rock surrounded rest area followed by perfect timing at Wilson Arch. At first I was pissed with the ropes dangling from the arch bit soon realized that climbers descending made for more interesting photos.

Down thru Blanding and I wanted to stop and ask people if they knew where I could buy some Indian artifacts. A year or so ago the Feds busted a ring of grave robbing illegal artifacts dealers in Blanding. Grave robbing artifact hunting is pretty low but it is legal on private land, and illegal on federal land. Two of those arrested committed suicide. One was a popular community doctor and of course everyone blamed the feds for him doing the hose in the tail pipe thing. I like to attribute it to messing with the wrong spirits.

A stop and another short hike to see the Anazazi ruins at Butler Wash.

Then on to Natural Bridges National Monument and $6 to drive the loop and see three natural bridges.

Then on the road again through beautiful red rock and beige sandstone. Over the Colorado river and through the most scenic part of the trip through miles of red rock cliffs north of Lake Powell. Alas the sun had gone down but now I have an excuse to go back. Into Hanksville at dark. Up the highway to I-70, back through Price and home just before midnight.

What a day

Punch Lines

2010-08-10T23:47:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I can't sleep again so I stop trying and get up. Maybe it's the ghosts of christmases past. Maybe it's the fear of christmases future.

Maybe it's the garlic bread I had for lunch.

Maybe it's all this excess ear wax.

I'm listening to America's first album.

Three roses were bought
With you in mind
Three roses were bought
With you in mind

I'm not tired at all. I stress myself out by creating imaginary conflict in my mind. It's silly I know and I try to combat it with naughty fantasies.

I'd much rather drown it with three fingers of good bourbon.

But that's a no go in my house.

I was planning on going to Montana day after tomorrow but that's off now. My weekend got cut short because I have to prove I can shoot my gun, and a friend's mother is having surgery.

I hope nothing happens like that for my next 6 day weekend because I wanna go to Vancouver. There's a girl or two I wanna photograph.

Ah come on children get your heads back together
Ah come on children get your heads back together

2010-08-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

arrogant recluse

99% of people annoy the shit out of me. just by their mere presence. very few interest me and most of them are women. I was awakened this morning but a wonderful pre-dawn thunderstorm and sat alone on the porch to enjoy the flashes of lightning, the sound of the rain, the mist that drifted into me, and the smell. that stuff never lasts long enough for me. someone always has to start a car to go to work. the goddamned sun always has to rise.

I feel this post yearning to be written down but I complain that the light of this computer has to be in my face and I dim it as much as it will allow. I put my headphones on and plug them into the perfect music but complain that I can't hear the perfect songs for the mood in the perfect order.

I saw an incredible woman the other day with tattoos that were amazingly thought out and I gave her my card. told her that I would gladly make the three hour drive to where she is to shoot her. she'll probably never call.

that's why I'm so reclusive. the people that are constantly around me are the uninteresting.

so I ignore them as much as possible.

LATER THE SAME DAY

10PM found me on the front porch again. another thunderstorm was passing through. more powerful with closer lightning strikes but unlike the pre-dawn storm people in the house were awake. nice storm, different feel.

Does this six shooter make me look fat?

2010-07-28T09:08:00.001-07:00

Does this six shooter make me look fat?, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I'm 52 today and I celebrated by making my breakfast. 2 eggs over-easy cooked in the same grease created by the three slice of bacon cooked "chewy". two slices of wheat toast and a large glass of milk.

I feel my immortality more and more everyday and find myself thinking, "is this the last thing I'll see?" while imagining some heart attack or fatal accident. Dumbass silly I know but probably all very normal.

Mom's in town and we're all gathering here at the house later for chinese food and cake. My birthday is never a big deal for me anymore but there are some formalities I guess and hey, chinese food!

I hope to play golf tomorrow after putting in 4 hours of work for 8 hours of pay on a day off.

The Old Man

2010-07-23T21:01:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

My knees complain when I squat down to get photos out on the mud and salt flats of the Great Salt Lake.

In my mind I am still young. My body has to remind me that I'm not.

It's okay. My children are grown and on their own feet in many ways.

Letter to the editor

2010-07-19T18:22:00.001-07:00

Missed, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I have commented to Daily Star stories online for a number of years. You could even say it's been more than 30 years if you count a letter I submitted when I was in high school in the 70's. I recently posted a comment on an article of the death of a young Tucsonan in Afghanistan. It was the same comment that I had posted for an online Star article a few years ago when I read of another young Tucsonan who had been killed in Iraq. It was a message of condolences to his family, and then I simply said, "support our troops, bring them home". The online editors deemed this to be "politicizing" and I learned that I was banned from commenting.

I am a native Tucsonan and have been reading Tucson newspapers all my life. At one time I delivered the Citizen. I no longer live in Tucson because of my work but when I travel home to visit my aged mother I often get up in the morning and walk a block to a convenience store and buy a hard copy of the Star. My mother has a computer but I prefer to read a paper version when I am in Tucson.

I was not advised that I had been banned on commenting until I contacted the Star by email when I found that my comments weren't posting. The Star Online Staff did not have the courtesy to contact me prior to that. Online Editor John Bolton replied, "You ignored the warning not to politicize the comment thread on the Tucson soldier's obituary, so you have been banned from further commenting". I asked how a message of support for our troops and a wish for their safe return was "politicizing". He has not responded to my question.

A comment that was previously posted on the same type of story has gotten me banned now. It makes me wonder if the online staff of the Star would side with a recent Caltrans decision to paint over an American Flag on a California frewway after deeming it to be graffiti.

2010-07-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

The most interesting posts will never be posted

The secret happenings and thoughts are the happenings and thoughts that I keep for myself. Some are expressed, but not here. Some people know them, but not you.

I am not sleeping well. I'm not tired, more restless than anything. Call it a wanderlust of the soul. Trying to find the perfect image to lay me into a peaceful sleep. Trying to find the perfect song to take me to the perfect mood during the quiet times awake in the low light filtering in through the drawn curtains.

El Barrio

2010-07-15T22:02:00.001-07:00

El Barrio, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

One of the oldest neighborhoods in Tucson is simply called El Barrio. Just south of downtown, El Barrio used to be filled with various generations of the original Mexican inhabitants of Tucson. Sometime in the 70's the yuppies started moving in. They bought houses cheap and "restored" then to their idea of what "quaint" should be. Bright colors and word spread and before you know it, prices started to creep up.

Old Fords and Chevys are now replaced by beemers and SUV's with animal right and liberal causes plastered on the bumpers. Now most of the "quaint" barrio are white yuppies probably trying to figure out how to keep Starbucks out.

One of my favorite restaurants, El Minuto, is on the edge of El Barrio. It's been open since 1936 but the people who used to line up for menudo on Sundays have mostly moved on after either selling for a good price, or moved farther south where house values, and property taxes, are lower.

Mom's Chair

2010-07-15T21:46:00.001-07:00

Mom's Chair, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

My mother sits and reads in this chair. She reads a lot. Mainly autobiographies now. I was in Tucson last week to spend time with mom on the anniversary of the passing of my father. Needless to say, it's not a good week for her. I was able to make it much better this year.

In a conversation my mother said that she would not like to go back and do her life over. Many of us wish we could, but not my mother. My mother is quite happy with how she lived her life and she is not afraid that it is winding down to it's end. My mother believes that when you die, someone comes for you. An escort to the afterlife.

"I'm happy with my life", she said. "I'm ready to go anytime and I will run to whoever comes for me. Just know I was happy".

Near Page, AZ

2010-07-14T23:22:00.001-07:00

Near Page, AZ, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Horseshoe Bend, Colorado River

2010-07-14T23:01:00.001-07:00

Horseshoe Bend, Colorado River, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Arizona has some of the planet's most spectacular scenery but also some of the planet's most below average politicians.

Buh bye Facebook

2010-07-14T22:53:00.001-07:00

Red, White, and Blue, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Got bored. It goes against my anti-social nature. Decided that since I wanted to ax most of my friends anyway that I'd just bail the whole thing once and for all.

Maybe I'll post here more often now.

Maybe.

2010-06-19T21:41:00.001-07:00

Not the time, nor the place, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Ronnie Lee Gardner is an easy man to hate. He murdered two men. One in a robbery and the other in an escape attempt after a woman slipped him a gun. He was shot and wounded on the courthouse lawn and after the trial, was sentenced to death......25 years ago.

Ronnie Lee was sentenced so long ago that a firing squad option was still available and that's what he chose as the method of his execution. This past week all the appeals that could have been applied for had been denied and his execution for this morning just after midnight was set.

As a photographer I realized I had a rare chance to shoot one of the vigils that occur outside of a prison when an execution is carried out. I got excited for the opportunity to document something rare in Utah. I knew I would have to stay up late on a work night to do it but how often will I get the chance. Then it hit me, I was going to do something I love, photography, while a man was being executed. Was I exploiting this man's death? Was I a photojournalist like those who photograph starving children and homeless people? Yes, I was, but I knew a story must be told. I'm a proponent of the death penalty and here was a chance to stand up for what I believed.

At 10:30 I approached a gate at the Utah State Prison and I saw two vans parked by a building and was approached by guards in SWAT gear. I saw no vigil but I instantly knew, THIS was the building where it would happen. I asked about a vigil and they directed me to the other side of the prison and the guards at that gate directed me to a place across I-15 where the protesters were gathering.

I approached the group as they mingled and wrote notes on helium filled balloons. It was then that I found out that Ronnie Lee had a daughter and that she was there. People held candles and balloons and there were a couple of signs and members of the clergy. People would laugh and then fight back tears as the time approached. I watched Ronnie's daughter, Brandie as she mingled with the crowd and some independent media who had also gathered. I spoke with a reporter from Australia and of course I took photos.

It was hard not to get emotional even though this man had brutally taken two lives. All I could see at this moment was a daughter waiting to get the news that four bullets had torn into her father's chest. Ronnie Lee Gardner is an easy man to hate but his daughter was about to be added to the victims of his actions.

At midnight one of the group went to a car parked near the group and turned on the stereo. The group who had shortly before offered prayers to Ronnie Lee and his victims and their families now sang along to Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird.

I tried to guess at what point of the song the order was given to fire. I will never be able to hear the song again without wondering at what point the shots rang out across the highway. Maybe I'll even hear them in my head some time. When confirmation that the execution had been carried out was received, the balloons were released into the night sky. I had contemplated grabbing a sharpie and writing on one of the balloons but I could not muster up the nerve. I only wanted to write two words.

I'm sorry

$41 room with a view

2010-06-13T21:48:00.001-07:00

$41 room with a view, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I walked by the Flamingo looking for a Dunkin Donuts. I saw the 8 story high pictures of Donny and Marie Osmond on the building and a mental picture of what they were doing at that very moment popped into my head. Birds were singing outside of Marie's sunny kitchen while she served pancakes to her kids. They spoke about Sunday School lessons. Meanwhile Donny held the fridge door open at his house with the same hand that held a lit Marlboro while he searched for the half bottle of bloody mary mix.

I did not find the Dunkin Donuts. It isn't in the Imperial palace anymore.

The day before I stood in line to check in at Bally's behind a woman who complained that the line at The Excalibur had been shorter. We had something in common me and her, we're both schmucks. We're both after cheap rooms. But unlike her, I know I'm a schmuck so I hold no illusion that I'm anything better in Vegas. And I, unlike her, don't mind.

2010-06-01T07:47:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

We spent our last evening in Bolivia having dinner with our very good friends Oscar and Daniela Castro. Oscar is a founding member of the Bolivian Folkloric Music group, Savia Andina. Two of the other founding members live in the U.S. and Oscar told us of plans for the 4 original members to reunite and tour the U.S. and possibly Toronto and Montreal in August or so. It would be the first time the 4 had performed together in over 20 years. Savia Andina has been performing and recording since the 70's.

We enjoyed the evening with the Castro's and they dropped us off at our house after midnight.

I was beginning to finally acclimatize to the altitude and was doing okay in the last days as we hit the tourist market to gather gifts for people back home. I took my wife, sister-in-law, and neice (all mothers) out to lunch on Mother's Day. (always May 27th in Bolivia) We also went to the cemetery and paid respects to my mother-in-law. My next planned trip down is Oct, 2012 when it will be time to move her remains. That is quite a common practice in Bolivia but I won't go into why. We will move her to a permanent spot in Cochabamba where my sister-in-law and husband have their permanent plots purchased.

At 3:30 AM on the day of our departure taxi driver #42 pulled up to the house. 42 (that's all I know of his identity) had been the guy who drove my wife, brother-in-law, and niece up to the airport the day I arrived. He waited, and then drove us all down to the house. When we got to the house, my wife paid the fare and I tipped him $20. This is my traditional tip when I arrive, and is 3 times the fare. As I explained to the Castros, "the gringo has arrived, someone's gotta party". Of course when I tipped him, he asked when I was leaving and told us he'd drive us back up to the airport. "Make sure when you call you ask for #42". He called the house 2 days prior to us leaving to ask what time to be there. At the airport I gave him the fare and the $20 tip (but in Bolivian Pesos) and he asked, "when will you be back?"

October 2012

Bolivia 1

2010-06-01T07:18:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

(originally posted 5/22 on my facebook)

So I arrived in La Paz and ate Salteñas the first day. Met a grand nephew for the first time and generally relaxed. The next day we went downtown and bought our ailine tix from Cochabamba to Santa Cruz. We also checked out a contemporary art museum and I paid extra so I could take photos. Look forward to seeing some very nice Bolivian artwork when I get back. I walked down to the University Mayor de San Andes where the have put up some wonderful murals in the underpass in front of the U. I was surprised to see that the main building itself was clean of any murals. This University was closed for years at a time by past military dictatorships and many activists students were tortured and murdered during those years. It is still a center of activism but thankfully the students now voice their opinions openly. Tuition is FREE by the way.

So Thursday (I believe) we took the bus from La Paz to Cochabamba. It´s an 8-9-10-12 hour ride. We made it in about 9 1/2. At the lunch stop a young man came up and asked if I was Canadian (I had a roots hoody on). He and a friend were Israeli and had just gotten out of the military. I have come across many Israelis who, once the get out of the military, get the hell out of Israel and travel for a year. That´s gotta be a stress filled gig. They were headed to La Paz so I gave him some tips on good places to see, eat, and where to stay.

In Cochabamba I met another grand nephew, kissed my sister-in-law, and niece and then immediately hopped into a taxi down to my brother-in-law´s shoe store where he was waiting for me to go to the soccer game. His team, Wilstermann, was playing "Bolivia´s team", The Strongest. Club Wilstermann is named for a famous Bolvian Aviator and The Strongest is named for what some rich club founder thought was a good name. "Wilster" won 2-1 in what was a great game. Lots of fouls, yellow cards, a red card, a broken leg. and referees escorted off the field by a SWAT team armed with riot shields all to the loving chants of "hijos de PUTAS" (sons of WHORES). And that´s what happens when the local team WINS.

Saturday morning we flew to Santa Cruz for another brother-in-law´s wedding. I have heard so many nice things about Santa Cruz but let me say this, I will never go back to that pile of shit city. There was garbage in the streets, we were denied service at 2 restaurants after we had ordered, and I felt more secure the time I walked through the red light district in Tijuana at night than I did walking down the street from our hotel to the soccer stadium at 4 in the afternoon. And we were in what is considered the nice area. The wedding was great, the food was awesome, but I was glad to get the hell outta there. We took the 10-12-18-2 day bus ride back to Cochabamba and that was a great ride. Got lots of photos and THAT I would definately do again. So I could see myself flying into Santa Cruz to have access to the countryside.

Back in Cochabamba (8,000 ft above sea level) I was fine for a few days until I hit the "altitude wall". At the insistance of all around me, I went to a clinic. Turns out my blood pressure had shot up a bit (140 over 90). The doc gave me a prescription for a B Complex and something to bring my blood pressure down and now I feel back to my normal outta shape 51 year-old self.

Scratch the fancy garden

2010-05-05T14:27:00.001-07:00

My next job, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Got up and overcame the temptation to watch the Poseidon Adventure. Instead I took the car to get the vehicle inspection required by the State. The Jiffy Lube waiting room was full of lactating mothers and toddlers and a TV with The Disney Channel. Since I hadn't brought my gun and an extra magazine I decided to go for a walk down to Walgreens and pick up a few things.

The "senior beauty consultant" was totally checking me out so I waited in her line to check out. The chemistry was cool and she gave me a sample of a liquid glove and a body wash. Must be some subliminal message there.

Anywho the car failed the safety inspection because the master cylinder (brakes) is leaking. It's gonna cost $265 on Friday and that proved to be the death nail for my raised bed garden this year. So I will battle weeds again like last year.

Picked up the daughter's wedding invitations. What a racket THAT industry is. had some butt ugly (no glasses) passport photos taken. Bought some corn dogs and frozen waffles. Caught a nap. Blogged.

The End

Moving on

2010-04-27T07:18:00.001-07:00

New West, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

This time Vancouver didn't feel like home. It felt like an old friend and neither of us seemed overly animated to see each other. There were still signs of the Olympics but the money had been placed on the dresser and that Jon had moved on and nobody seemed to care.

Some non-family drama with bad timing and gray skies ruled the day. I took my daughter to a bar to watch a hockey game and wet met up with a friend for a fun night of cheering the Canucks.

A 17 hour drive home found me standing in the kitchen asking if it was just me trembling or if anyone else was feeling an earthquake. The next morning I kissed the wife goodbye and said, "back to rest". It was never more true.

Daniel, Wyoming

2010-04-17T20:10:00.001-07:00

Daniel, Wyoming, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I have days where I feel like this

Responsibilities

2010-04-11T08:47:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I travel to Bolivia soon. I have never felt so strongly about staying there. cashing in the job and just staying. But I still have things to do before the "clean break" is possible. Eight more years

Reverence

2010-04-04T15:09:00.001-07:00

Reverence, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I had the thrill of being able to get onboard one of the very few B17's that still fly. I was like a little boy at first looking at the REAL machine guns and the REAL (but disarmed of course) bombs in the bomb bay. I climbed with glee into the pilot's chair. It was one of those once in a lifetime thrills. THIS picture is the important picture. A friend took it without realizing that I had just spent a few minutes in the realization of what happened in many plane like this. 18-19 year-old boys freezing, praying, fighting for their lives. Enemy bullets tearing through the metal without slowing down and ripping into boys who months earlier had been at dinner tables with family, or on ballfields with childhood friends. Too many young lives taken. A Bishop of my church was a pilot of a plane like this. His was one of 30 bomber crews that went over to Europe. Three came home. There was thrill to this experience for me. But there was also reverence.

4th Avenue Street Fair

2010-03-24T17:29:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I remember going to the street fair when i was in high school. There were so many cool things that I wanted to buy but they were expensive for the broke younger me. Some of the same stuff is there for sale at they mark their 40th anniversary. I was very happy to see that it was happening while we were in town this time. There's a spring fair and a fall fair. It's 5 blocks long now with plenty of food and performers and is boasted to be the largest fair of it's kind in the country now.

It started as a sidewalk sale put on by the businesses on 4th Avenue. It's always been an eclectic street. Wedged between downtown and the U of A there are only 2 businesses remaining that I remember being there when I was a kid, the Dairy Queen, and Caruso's Italian Restaurant. One of these days I will eat at Caruso's.

The end of an era

2010-03-24T08:53:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

When I was a kid, my dad took me to Hi Corbett field in Tucson to see my hero, Willie Mays, play. Hi Corbett was the spring training home of The Cleveland Indians. We would go sit in the bleachers on a sunny spring day and watch the games. I took my glove and dreamt of catching a foul ball hit into the stands. My dream came true one day and it was one of the big thrills of my young life.

I don't remember many names but Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, and Bobby Bonds all came to town with the Giants.

Years later the ugly side of baseball would raise it's head. The Indians left after Phoenix built them a better facility than Tucson was willing to. The "if you build it, he will come" games began. Tucson would make improvements to Hi Corbett and the Colorado Rockies came. Tucson built a second facility and the Chicago White Sox, and The Arizona Diamondbacks came.

But it all ended up to be not good enough. Major League Baseball Teams wanted more. They wanted Tucson to spend more and build more. Teams that spend hundreds of hours traveling each year decided that an hour and a half bus ride from Phoenix was too much for their stars. This year both the Cubs and the Dodgers showed up for games in Tucson with only minor leaguers.

Tucson decided enough was enough so 2010 was the last year for spring training in Tucson. The last of the teams will relocate to Phoenix now and extort cities in that area for new facilities every two or three years. It seems the teams all like that "new car smell".

I will always love to watch baseball and the boy in me will be forever chasing that foul ball in the stands. But when they say it's all about the fans, I'll throw the ball back and call bullshit.

2010-03-06T20:14:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I drove up to Ogden today to check out a model train show. I walked in and it smelled of body odor and shed mold and it was smaller than I thought it would be. I lived in Ogden for a few months in 1980. I was promoted to manager by a pizza chain called Little Big Man.

The apartment building I lived in on Washington Street has been torn down. The pizza place I worked at on Wall Street has also been torn down.

March 4th

2010-03-05T08:03:00.001-08:00

March 4th, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

rakkin frakkin

It's been HOW long?

2010-02-28T10:40:00.001-08:00

Street Life Still Life, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I just can't get into the blogging thing. Blame Facebook and it's convenient ways.

Bought a new Honda Civic

Paid off some debt

Bought tickets to Bolivia

Going to AZ in two weeks

Those last two should provide some blog opportunities.

San Francisco

2010-01-27T14:57:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Chinatown they said. Golden Gate, Alcatraz they said. But that's not how I roll. WHO goes to San Francisco and looks for the cliche' and over-photographed? LOSERS, that's who. So I head for the Castro District and was kinda disappointed that the gay area of the gayest city on the planet was kinda boring. Granted, I didn't wander off the main street of the area. Too much porn, not enough eclectic.

Then I headed for the Mission District and found a rich Hispanic cultural statement in the dozens of wall sized murals even if the food was kinda lame.

Then walking down Mission back toward downtown, I stumbled upon another alley of wall sized murals.

So for the first trip to San Francisco, and given that I only had one day to explore, I came away with a wonderful impression of a city that is like no other in the U.S.

Thank you San Francisco. I will return to you.

2010-01-08T17:16:00.000-08:00

I was waiting for the transmission to shift or explode

is what I told the salesman at the Nissan dealership. I was test driving the 2010 Altima. Another thing that irked me was having to put gas in both cars I test drove. But I have always like Altimas and this new transmission gizmo is the latest and greatest thing they say so I will probably end up buying a base model. Gotta go base because if we buy one car this year, we are buying two. I still owe about $8,000 on my Stratus so we will probably pay that off and keep it. Someone is in college and will need a car to get around in when he gets his license squared away.

I felt old with this newfangled car technology so we balanced it off buy having lunch at The Golden Corral buffet. Now I feel young again. The walkers, the 70 year-old woman in purple sweats, the 70 year-old man in sunglasses that my granddaughter would shun. The meal was decent but the "floor show" was worth twice the price.

2010-01-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

On to the new decade with a hip hip hooray!!

In local news a guy playing with a gun shot and killed his friend. A burglar shot and killed a police dog and was then shot and killed by the dog's handler. And a man beat up his 85 year-old landlady.

There's snow all around but the roads are dry.

So what do I look forward to this decade? I'll watch the kids continue to make life decisions and learn, or maybe not, things. I was 30 before I found what I would do for a long time job so they have time if they're on my schedule. I continue to get older despite my best efforts to coca cola myself diabetic. I wait for things to happen this decade to determine where I will be when it ends and even if we'll be addressing this same subject in 10 years. Ireland is a possibility in 4-5 years. Calgary is another. Aruba was going to be one possibility but I've heard that crime has increased there to the point where people in my profession consider it that same as the Bahamas. That's a shame.

More photos of course and the tradition of a yearly calendar. More bourbon perhaps. More weight inevitably and hopefully the return of long contemplation here versus the quick shot facebook thing all the time.

We'll see won't we?

Off we go.

Last post of the Decade

2009-12-31T19:05:00.001-08:00

The Ranches #4, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Thank God that's over but I fear more financial disaster is on the way. With any luck, at the end of the 10's, I will be retired.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T11:19:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

And I'm a hypocrite too

2009-12-23T10:38:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Have we boxed our religion in between our high tower aspirations and our fast food convenience? Do we see it as a classical design amongst or modern reality only to be thought of in times of despair when the flat beauty we created seems cold and apathetic to us? A comfort zone for momentary balance until the plate is passed around?

Winter on Long Island

2009-12-15T19:34:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

A train ride from the city and into the quiet of Garden City. Garden City lost 68 residents on 9/11. More than any other city in New York.

Winter Flowers

2009-12-15T19:26:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Walking through lower Manhattan I came upon a recycling art project called Winter Flowers on the fence of a small park. This is one of my favorite shots from New York City.

The Zeros was the decade of the lost

2009-12-15T09:01:00.001-08:00

Ground Zero, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

NYC lost the WTC
NYFD lost their bravest
USA lost it's common sense
Thousands lost their brave soldiers
I lost my father
Magaly lost her mother
Thousands lost their homes
Thousands lost their jobs
Thousands lost thousands
Rich bankers lost nothing
The Republicans lost their minds
The Dems lost their chance
Obama lost his nerve
Pop lost it's King

Two more weeks and we lose this decade but will we ever lose the pain?

The Subways

2009-12-14T08:41:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

2009-12-14T08:37:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

The subways in New York are man made caves being invaded by nature. They're like the one thing in New York that has stayed the same save for the new trains that now run through them. Water seeps into them and rats run through them and they feel great to be in as people move through.

Conversations grow louder as trains approach until they are drowned out by the roar and screeching brakes. I loved every moment I was down there.

Katz's Deli. "Send a salami to your boy in the Army"

2009-12-13T10:36:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Home of the planet's finest pastrami. If you think otherwise, you're wrong.

Amir

2009-12-11T19:51:00.001-08:00

Amir, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

He was the doctor and the prescription he gave was Woodford Special Reserve Bourbon. Taken twice daily. Garden City Hotel on Long Island.

2009-12-11T09:13:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I am home now and New York was as good as it gets. I sat at a table with a man in Katz's Deli who's lived all his 70 years in New York and has not seen it all so for me to think I could see a major part in days is insane. So I satisfy myself with some hours walking randomly through neighborhoods with familiar names to me.

What I wish is that there was a tour service that would take me through Brooklyn and The Bronx to watch my back as I shoot photos.

But that being said. I met and hung out with some good people. I had some amazing pastrami and ate a stereotypical Italian restaurant in Little Italy.

2009-12-07T22:05:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Walked thru many places. Soho, Greenwich Village, Chinatown, Alphabet City, Lower East Side, Battery Park, Wall Street. Walked myself sore but dug every minute of it.

I love New York

2009-12-05T18:51:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

There's no other place like it and when it's the government's dime it's all the more better.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T20:21:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I always take glee because I get this frozen turkey cheap along with the purchase of x-amount of groceries. I buy way too many pillsbury crescent rolls because my love goes Mrs Cubbins stuffing, jellied cranberry sauce, crescent rolls, turkey, everything else.

Thanksgiving morning I get up and see that the pies are made. I peek at the TV to see who's beating the Detroit Lions and then I chop two cups of celery and two cups of onions. I saute' them in two cups of butter and then dump that onto two boxes of Mrs Cubbins stuffing mix. I add at least one can of chicken broth and voila'.

I'm a basic stuffing kinda guy. No dates or raisins or nuts or oysters or fruit or M&M's for me. When the pies are done I stuff the bird and toss it in. Now I'm off duty for the next 4-5 hours.

Zoom forward to me yelling "THE TURKEY'S READY!!"

Now this is our annual panic mode time. Magaly peals and chops potatoes and puts them to boil. I put the rest of the stuffing in the oven and grab two cookie sheets. I grab the crescent rolls and start popping them in the oven. While they're baking I'm in and out of the closest room holding a TV to watch whatever football game or movie is on. We all have a tradition of yelling, "WATCH THE BREADS!" ever since I stayed to long in front of the TV and the breads burned. Literally. I took them out and half of them were on fire. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen on Thanksgiving. The crescent rolls had burst into flames.

So every year we go into panic mode and every year I get angry but tell myself to calm down because this is our ritual every year and the turkey waits patiently under a double blanket of aluminum foil. Magaly does the potatoes, yams, corn, peas, one of the kids slices the cranberry sauce and one sets the table. I finish the breads and butcher the bird. We get it all to the table and attack.

Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed taters, yams, 2 breads, gravy over everything, a glass of milk and I'm set. All this work and I have my reward.

Then it happens.

Half way to 3/4's through the plate and I've hit the wall. Every year I feel this great disappointment. I'm full. I'm like, "this is IT? I'm FULL??" Maybe it's a marathon type thing and I've collapsed after crossing the line. Maybe it's the pound of uncooked stuffing I've eaten during the day? It's my Thanksgiving, big deal moment. I finish my plate and stagger back to a TV to recover. After about an hour I need a coke and two hours beyond that I'll have some pie with my plate of whipped cream.

SNOWqualmie Pass, Washington

2009-11-07T15:07:00.001-08:00

SNOWqualmie Pass, Washington, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I walked into the lobby of the hotel in Bellingham after 14 hours on the road. I asked the man if he had a room with two queen beds. I pulled out my wallet, showed him my creds, and asked if they had a government rate. They do. (most do) Sometimes it's cheaper, sometimes it's not. I didin't even ask what the rate was, I just gave him my card and signed the paper he gave me to sign.

We left the house at about 10 AM which is incredibly late for me. I like to be on the road early. This change was somewhat of a relief though because I'm usually trying to get everyone moving faster than they normally do when we travel as a group. Northern Utah and into Idaho was the normal drive with some high clouds and wind but DRY roads. The sun went down on us in the rolling hills of Eastern Oregon.

Since we had eaten fast food lunch, I decided that we would do the restaurant thing for dinner and Pendleton, Oregon was the candidate. I took the last of three exits and it looped me around onto city streets that guided me back to the second exit area. The roads were torn up but I spied a Mexican restaurant and pulled in through the traffic cones. No parking spaces. I pulled back out onto another torn up road in an attempt to get over to another Mexican reastaurant but with no street lights I was unable to see any access so we drove around trying to find a different route to the restaurant.

Downtown Pendleton is full of seemingly redneck hangouts and haunts and my son opined that it should be called DUMPleton. We stumbled on a Taco Bell and ate there.

Back on the road and into Washington as a big red 3/4 moon rose over the Columbia River. Again, dry roads in through Yakima and my daughter and son texting me and Robert that they had met at the Vancouver airport and how far away were we? As we climbed into the mountains towards the Snoqualmie Pass I pointed out the exit that leads to Roslyn, Washington to Magaly. Roslyn is where the TV series Northern Exposure. As we climbed a light rain started to fall. Then I saw the first flurries and soon mother nature would be putting the snow in SNOWqualmie.

Shit!

Had and fast and vehicles behind me with missed aimed headlights and those "I'm a fairy" running lights under the headlights and the odd 18-wheeler and me hoping that I would not see tail lights racing headlights as I passed and slowed for the next curve. Over the pass we went and down out of the snow and into the rain which is also a delight. Crusing at 65 and trying to stay out of those 1/2 to 1 inch ruts in the asphault that when filled with water suddenly make it feel like you're driving on flat tires.

But we made it, and we're in Bellingham and I had my normal session of illusions after driving so long. Mind you that I could have driven 6 more hours easily because I become a machine when I drive. But once I stop and let my self coast down.... Last night I was "chatting" to no one in particular. Little windows of conversation would pop up. First mine, and then a response from someone I knew, but now, cannot remember.

Soon I will get Maggie and Robert up and moving. Then Fred Meyers for some groceries and wine for Matt and then into Vancouver.

Bahbah and Bina

2009-11-02T16:56:00.001-08:00

Bahbah and Bina, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Yesterday was Sabrina's 3rd birthday

Pukin Punkin

2009-11-02T16:54:00.001-08:00

Pukin Punkin, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

So Halloween has come and gone and we had about 250 trick of treaters come by the house. They started well before the sun went down since our neighborhood is full of young Mormon families. I had one group at the door that took 5 minutes to clear out. As darkness fell the older kids came out to play. I answered the door one time to see one kids stumbling up the steps while his nurse costumed mother watched. To my glee she, along with her screaming cleavage decided to give the boy a hand. Magaly busted me checking that out and not being quite able to get the candy in the kid's bag.

I closed the door, turned to my annoyed wife, shrugged, and said, "I thought everybody in the neighborhood were members". That didn't help much.

2009-10-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

I was at a bar last nite until almost midnite!

It was a gathering of people who are regular commenters on articles in the Salt Lake Tribune's online edition. Most of us wore little name tags with our online names and mingled about laughing and wondering where some of the "most wanted to see" posters were. My theory is that the commenters who were the solid people showed up. About 35 people showed up both from the left and the right side of the political spectrum.

There was the lady who had begun a nonprofit that supported hundreds of soldiers in Iraq and their families until it took over her life and she gave it up only to feel tremendous guilt for a year.

There were two women who grew up Mormon like me and had stories of so called righteous men who tried to get in their pants. One of them was isolated when the rumor spread and the blame placed on her instead of the perpetrator.

There were people with big hearts who are now friends of mine.

There was an employee of the Trib who went around to hear all of our "who we are" stories. I told him of a conversation I had about the Trib comments with Tony Pierce. Tony, who edits all of the L.A. Times blogs and moderates comments, was surprised to find out the Trib does not moderate comments before they're posted. There IS a word editor that recognizes profanity and edits with appropriate **** but other than that, when to hit "post", your comment appears immediately. he told me that there was initial debate at the Trib whether or not to do the moderation thing and they are pleased at the behavior of commenters who basically police themselves and report some offensive comments from time to time.

People who entered the room with differing levels of bravado and apprehension left with hugs and handshakes and smiles and looking forward to the next time we get together. Most were from the local area but I met one lady who drove from the San Francisco Bay area, and one man from L.A. who came just to be there.

Fall in the hood as seen from my front porch

2009-10-18T21:30:00.001-07:00

Fall in the hood as seen from my front porch, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

people ask me why I live so far from work and I tell them they just said the answer. Far. From. Work.

2009-10-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

I was born and raised Mormon

I was taught the doctrine of the church from my childhood and at the age of 19 I did what every young Mormon man should do. I went on a mission. I know Church history. I know about polygamy. I know how the Mormons of the early 1800's were persecuted and murdered and how the migrated to Utah. I've been through Temple Ceremonies that Mormons hold sacred. And even though I have been inactive for many years, I do not speak of those sacred things. It's just a respect I have of those things. I know of many people who attend church regularly but do not live as they should. I have heard countless stories from non-member friends of Mormons who do not live as they should. I hear criticism of what I do from people at times who then tell me, "and you're a Mormon". My reply to them is that if they are to hold me to some perceived standard, that standard must also apply to them in order for their criticism to be valid.

Now, in what some may consider irony, I live in Utah. Mormon ground zero. Here, the Church makes headlines on a daily basis. Mormons outside of Utah rarely hear all of what makes the news about the Church here. Sometimes I find it quite entertaining. Sometimes it just plain baffles me.

If you are a devout Mormon, Dallin H. Oaks is an Apostle on the same level as Christ's original Apostles. If you are not Mormon, he is one of the hierarchy of the Mormon Church. You would consider him just as Mormons would consider a Cardinal in The Vatican. Dallin H. Oaks is one of The Twelve Apostles. He is also the former Chief Justice of the Utah Supreme Court.

The Mormon Church made national headlines when is supported the repeal of gay marriage in California. The Church was heavily criticized for it's actions even though many now believe it was a poor organizational effort on the part of gay marriage proponents that led to the repeal of gay marriage.

Dallin H. Oaks, in a speech at the Rexburg, Idaho campus of BYU, likened the backlash against Mormons after the Prop 8 battle in California to the persecution of Blacks during the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's.

I have a big problem with that.

I was 10 years-old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated. I saw the marches. I saw police dogs attacking black marchers. I saw fire hoses turned on black marchers. I remember when four black girls were killed by a firebomb thrown by a ku klux klansman. Blacks were lynched by mobs. Blacks were beaten by the police. Blacks were denied voting rights.

None of that has happened to any Mormons since the Prop 8 battle.

Dallin H. Oaks spoke to Mormons in Rexburg and most take his words as being inspired by God and Christ. When you're on the inside, you only see the inside. But when you are on the outside like I am now, you see what non-members see. The Mormon Church sends missionaries out to all the world to preach the Gospel. They seek converts. I am on the outside and I wish Mormon Leaders would consider that view when they speak. Mormons need to remember that non-members see the Mormons just as they see Catholics, or Jews, or Muslims, or Baptists. Many beliefs of other religions baffle Mormons as much as Mormon beliefs baffle members of other religions.

Dallin H. Oaks has backed down a bit on his comparison statement but it will always baffle me that a man of his education, experience, and position in the church would fail to consider how his words effect non-members. The members are already on board. It's those who don't believe that an Apostle should be seeking to reach out to. You don't need to convert the converted

Dad, Grandma and Uncle Leonard

2009-10-07T09:06:00.001-07:00

Dad, Grandma and Uncle Leonard, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

My sister Sarah scanned some old photos. My dad was inducted into the army the day the war in Europe ended. He spent two years as a military policeman in Germany. Although he never admitted it, Sinatra got his look from my uncle.

Rest in Peace Mamita Mary. I love you very much

2009-10-06T10:47:00.001-07:00

Rest in Peace Mamita Mary, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

My mother-in-law, Mary Paz-Soto passed away on Sunday at the age of 76. I was like a son to her and my wife and I were able to provide for most of her needs in the last years of her life. It was among the best things that I have done in my life. Whenever she saw me she tearfully thanked me for being so good to her. She thanked me for giving her so much.

The last time I spoke to her I told her that she gave me much more than I could ever have given her. She gave me the person who makes my life complete.

I shall miss her tremendously.

Champions of America

2009-10-01T09:27:00.001-07:00

Champions of America (LOC), originally uploaded by The Library of Congress.

Where have those days gone?
Taken away with the rotted boardwalks
and the big wheeled bicycles.
Blown away with the lacy parasols
and the big hats with bows and flowers.
Forgotten like the five and dime
and the montgomery ward catalog.

Lemme just go get my pickup truck

2009-09-28T16:04:00.001-07:00

Lemme just go get my pickup truck, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Today the high is 90. Wednesday it'll be 50 and snowing in the mountains. Rain down where we are. Went to Draper to take care of a speeding ticket and then out to the Salt Lake for some shots. Wrong time of day heat and light wise so I explored but took very few photos.

Another day I'll get out there pre-dawn. Just know that it won't be Wednesday.

Joseph Smith Sphynx

2009-09-21T21:47:00.001-07:00

Joseph Smith Sphynx, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I was born and raised Mormon but this place creeped me out. Some stone cutter created this garden in his back yard in Salt Lake City. There's a statue of him too and a bunch of scriptures carved into large stepping stones. If I was dared to spend the night here or in a cemetery, I'd probably choose the cemetery.

www.gilgalgarden.org

State Fair

2009-09-20T20:47:00.001-07:00

Basics, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Went out to the last day of the State Fair. Met a friend and took some pictures of his alter ego. It was fun to see people react to him. No, I'm not gonna tell you more about him. I saw a 700 pound butter sculpture and a 3,000 pound bull. That's what makes fairs for me.

2009 World of Speed

2009-09-18T22:02:00.001-07:00

2009 World of Speed, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Took my action over to the Bonneville Speedway in Western Utah. It was fun, it was boring, it was hot, it was good for photos. From cheap cell phone cameras to one guy actually shooting with a 4X5 camera. And there was everything in between.

This here photo is one I like more than the others and it will be in my 2010 calendar.

Tomorrow?

Potatofest!!

Good Judge, Good Teacher

2009-09-13T07:57:00.001-07:00

Good Judge, Good Teacher, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I loved watching this judge. Tasked with deciding who got the blue ribbon in the youngest division of competitors. He spent time with each youngster listening to them and providing instruction on how to present their animal. Dressed in a shirt and tie and pressed pants with a crease. A true professional.

This youngster had quite a bit of trouble with his animal and the judge really complimented him. "I love the way you show, you just had an animal that didn't want to work with you very well". How more encouraging could anybody be?

Soccer for four year-olds

2009-09-11T20:37:00.001-07:00

Soccer for four year-olds, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

They all go for the ball. Two or three fall down. Ball squirts out. Half run after ball. Two more fall down. The other half loses interest. One breaks loose with the ball but overruns it. A defender kicks ball the wrong way because none of them will know how to turn for 4 more years. Defender trips on ball and is kicked. Ball continues toward goal. Offensive player kicks ball and it hits the post. Team parents groan loudly. Defender, four years away from knowing how to turn, kicks ball into own goal. That team's parents groan loudly.

Teams repeat the above several times until game ends and treats are consumed.

2009-09-04T11:25:00.001-07:00

What's America all about?

Not long ago an outfielder for a major league baseball team went back to catch a fly ball. The play took him near the outfield wall and a fan of the home team poured his beer on the player. The incident was played over and over on TV for all to see. One commentator made a comment that made me laugh. He remarked that the fan basically wasted a perfectly good NINE DOLLAR BEER.

What we also saw in the report was the asshole that threw the beer being manhandled by security and ejected out of the ball park. I wanted to punch that asshole. I wanted him thrown naked in the street and banished from all sports arenas for the rest of his miserable life. He represented the very worst in human behavior. I saw the replay of the beer tossing over and over. It was caught on video. High tech video. "Right in your face evidence" of the violation of human decency. THROW THAT ASSHOLE OUT INTO THE GUTTER! HELL YEAH! He even LOOKS like an asshole.

A couple of days later it was reported that the wrong person was ejected. The man who actually tossed the beer remained in his seat and watched the rest of the game. You KNOW that people around him SAW him toss the beer. Those SAME people also watched an innocent man yanked out of his seat and punished for something he did not do.

Why was that?

The President of the United States wants to speak to American school children about education. About goals and being responsible for their education. I'm pretty sure that very few people have read the speech he intends to make yet a good part of the country is in an uproar. Many are saying things like "indoctrination". People are saying that President Obama doesn't represent what "America" is really all about.

So what is America about?

Is it about people being held without trial for years? Is it about reaching out a helping hand to those in need? Is it about torture? Is it about excelling in righteous endeavor? Is it about 10% of the population holding 90% of the wealth? Is it about seeing that all children receive a good education? Is it about people supporting like-minded people while innocent strangers are humiliated?

Religion is big here. We are a Christian nation. You here that from elected officials and appointed clergy. Go against it and you're in deep shit. You're satanic. You're not one of US, you're with "them". THEY are the Taliban, Al Qaida, Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Commies, Socialists. You're EVIL!

So let's talk religion. I was born and raised Mormon. If you are a devout Mormon you are in the one true church on the planet. Jesus Christ himself is at the head of the Mormon Church. Mormons are taught to be self sufficient. One of the great practices of this is food storage. The goal of food storage is to have an entire year's supply of food for your family. It's a daunting task. ONE YEAR. But if you believe in it, you strive towards it. Seminars on the subject are given. Books about food storage have been written. Every time a major disaster happens somewhere you are reminded about it. You see the unprepared on the news flocking to grocery stores and home supply stores. And you here a voice over your shoulder, "do you see?".

Years ago I heard a man talk in church about your "year's supply". He brought up a point that strikes me to the core to this day. He said basically that when you achieve this goal you should not stop. You should store MORE food. GASP!!!! Why? I made it. I'm okay. I have my food!

He explained,

What are you going to do when the time comes and the disaster strikes, that end of days that we are preparing for, and your neighbor comes to you and says, "my wife and I can suffer, we're old, we understand. But our children are crying because they're starving?"

To this day i tear up at the thought of that scene.

Years later there were other approaches to the year's supply doctrine. What about a year's supply of ammunition? Yeah, if the shit hits the fan you're going to have to protect that year's supply from those who don't have one of their own. Some devotees of the concept even started constructing shelters in the country similar to the bomb shelters of the 50's.

So do you help your neighbor or do you kill him?

What would Christ, the leader of our Christian nation do? He's told us what he would do.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

We as Christian Americans need to remember that.

It means health care for all
It means compassion for all
It means pray for your enemy
It means bless those who curse you
It means feed your neighbor's children AND their parents

Politicians and pundits ALL have their agenda. That agenda is winning. These days winning means pointing and making accusations and hatred. I have never seen it so bad as I have in these days. Religious men saying it's okay to pray for the death of the President. People showing up to public forums with guns. "It's in the Constitution. It's my right". What happens when an American Muslim exercises that right? Or a Black American? Hell, ask a Black American about his right to drive an expensive car at night. Ask a Muslim American about his right to take a photograph of landmarks in New York in broad daylight.

What's America all about?

You tell me.

Virgin Mary Image

2009-08-26T16:49:00.001-07:00

Virgin Mary Image, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

An image of the Virgin Mary appeared in a knot in this tree beneath the white framed picture. The image was destroyed by a vandal with an axe but that doesn't stop the faithful from coming from all over the country.

I had heard about this and wanted to shoot this for some time but I had no idea that the shrine was so elaborate. Given that Salt Lake City is a Mormon town I thought that hard liners would destroy something like this.

Facebook is killing my blog

2009-08-20T15:02:00.001-07:00

Chain gang, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I post more stuff there and receive more feedback.

The more I get around here in Utah, the more I find interesting things to shoot. I took my camera up to Salt Lake to get the sensors cleaned. It should cost me about $100. THEN I can get back to work without spots on my images. I crop them out right now but it will be nice not to have to worry about them.

2009-08-11T09:51:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

2009-08-11T09:47:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

Sunset on the storm front

2009-08-11T09:43:00.001-07:00

Sunset on the storm front, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

2009-08-11T09:34:00.003-07:00

Hey there! I'm the editor for a hard-bound book that's currently in production, and found your photos via a Flickr search for great Utah photographers.

The Salt Lake Tribune, Deseret News, Mormon Times and In This Week have teamed up and are putting on a photo contest for the purpose of finding the absolute best photos of Utah, then publishing them in a fine-art coffee-table book. What's unique about this contest is that users are in the drivers seat, voting for the photos they think should be in the book. There's also a lot of prizes to be won, although for most photographers the exposure (especially if your photos make the book) is the reason to get involved.

We're calling it Capture My Utah. It's all free and I think your photos would be a great fit. You retain all rights and you get some great exposure for your website (we properly credit you, and link back to you all over the place, we even help you sell prints if you're set up to do that. Plus, your website would be published if your photos made the book). If you've got a free minute and want a shot at getting published, winning prizes, or just want to see some other great Utah photos, head over to Capture My Utah.

Oh and we're set up with Flickr to use the Flickr API so putting your photos on the Capture My Utah website is a click of a button.

If you'd like to know more about the project, or want to shoot me a FlickrMail, please feel free to do so.

Thanks for your time!
-Chris

So I get this comment posted on one of my flickr photos. I'm flattered. It's a gimmick to sell books I know but what the hell. I'm one of the first to join and more flickrites are coming onboard. My top three vote getters are above and they say at least ONE of them will be in the book. Whoopee!

I've been going to the site and voting on pics I like to be in the book. There's some very nice stuff and also the usual over-photoshopped and HDR'd photos.

So we'll see what happens.

2009-08-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

Women are a mystery

I have four official followers of this blog. All women. Two of them came out of nowhere. Now I feel pressure to be entertaining.

I have been deemed part of the "past life" of one woman who is now moving forward without me. She said don't take it personally but seeing that we don't have any business dealings....

Of course anybody who knows me knows that I'm not close to many people outside my family so there isn't much I take personally. We all come and go, and with this internet thingy we're even more transient.

I have 115 Facebook buddies and have not met 28 of them but if I did it would be a happy occasion. I have hundreds of workplace buddies who I had many happy occasions with but once there was movement, like my recent transfer, the contact broke down pretty quickly. I met guys as a missionary and was told that many of my missionary buddies would be life-long friends. Ten years later and there was no communication between any of them and me.

I'm a transient soul for many people. So if/when we meet and the opportunity presents itself, we'll go get something to eat, and share some stories. And then we'll part with no strings attached. No promises of future activity.

The big plutonic "one night stand", and like Jerry and Elaine said, no call the next day. I'm the perfect relationship in that I'll give you all the room you want. You need me, I'm here. If you don't, I'll be over there.

These CAN'T be my grandkids

2009-08-07T19:43:00.001-07:00

These CAN'T be my grandkids, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I'm way too young for that

2009-08-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

Magaly gets home tomorrow after three months in Bolivia. She went down because we feared that her mother was not long for this world and I believe that was the case. I believe we made the right decision even though the doctors miscalculated. The latest is they don't know but a year is not likely.

Magaly has been on a roller coaster of emotions and like roller coasters a peak merely indicates a rapid decline to a stomach pulling bottom and another trip to a temporary high point.

I know that Magaly was the reason her mother has lived longer than expected. Magaly is a rock with a strong religious faith that let's her know that departure awaits us all and that joy is just beyond the veil. Her family is also religious but a type that is in denial of the unavoidable and believe that prayers will heal all. They don't.

So my wife, who went down to say goodbye and have closure will say goodbye with the end still pending and a family crashing into full panic mode.

Magaly is a woman innocent of all except the guilt she places on herself by feeling that she is leaving things unfinished. Magaly is a woman who feels guilt for leaving her family, us, for such a long period of time. She misses the arms that awaken during the night to her tender request to be held.

I miss her too. In 27 years of marriage we have become melded to each other and one in purpose. Many times I fall short of being worthy of such a wonderful spirit but she forgives me. I just hope she saves some of that forgiveness for her own soul. I hope she comes to the piece of mind that what she did was far beyond what many would have, what many could have.

I have told a couple of people that when I see her tomorrow I will hold her tight and say, "don't do that again. Don't leave me alone for so long". There will surely be some tears. Then I will try my best to calm her soul while we wait for an inevitable phone call.

Say goodbye to Hollywood

2009-07-31T12:10:00.001-07:00

Say goodbye to Hollywood, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

It turns out the man was a broke junkie. Gee, you think there would have been some warning signs along the way

Tony and I

2009-07-29T23:12:00.001-07:00

Tony and I, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

The kids read my blog, my mother reads my blog, well gang, this man is why I blog. He gave me my first comment. Tony Pierce and I hooked up while I was in L.A. and he bought me dinner for my birthday. Thai food. Delicious.

Thanks again Tony.

Today was my birthday. It started in Vegas....

2009-07-28T23:14:00.001-07:00

Today was my birthday. It started in Vegas...., originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

....and ended in Venice, CA.

2009-07-28T23:13:00.001-07:00

....and ended in Venice, CA., originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.

I think she digs me

2009-07-28T15:44:00.001-07:00

I think she digs me, originally uploaded by Dan Lilly.