Saturday, December 31, 2005
Angelina tosses Brad.
Tens of thousands of Canadians plunge into depression when another U.S. based hockey team, namely the Nashville Predators, wins the Stanley Cup.
The Yankees fail to win the World Series again.
I will officially be told that I am leaving Canada.
Tony Pierce will find the woman he will marry. (but the marriage won't be in 2006)
Canada will lose one of it's most beloved.
The U.S. will lose one of it's most hated.
Despite everybody predicting a breakup for Brittany Spears she will announce after the summer that she is pregnant again.
I will have a life altering experience.
W's poll numbers will continue to decline even AFTER Bin Laden is located and killed.
Fidel Castro will die.
As a result of the U.S. Government's failure to curb spending combined with the cost of the war and Bush's insistence on continuing tax cuts and allowing big industry to outsource the Canadian and U.S. dollars will reach par.
Matthew Good will host the Grammys.
Red Green will host the Oscars.
Nickelback will announce that they have composed a Broadway musical.
In a move that stuns the world Canada will announce that they have traded Alberta to the United States for six magic beans.
Michael Landsberg will "come out".
Rush Limbaugh will have a near death experience where he discovers that everything he says is bullshit. He will then recover and after realizing the amount of money involved will continue to shovel.
Vesper and Binsk will continue to be the hottest babes online and only after HOURS of me convincing them that I am a very happily married man will they call off their jello wrestling duel with me as the prize. After I realize what I have done I will ascend the tallest building in Vancouver and jump.
Somebody will ask. Somebody at work. Maybe a complete stranger who I will want to hit square in the face while yelling "I resolve to assault more nosy strangers!!".
I don't make'em because although I'm a liar I don't wanna be a silly liar.
One year down on the southern border one of my coworkers asked what my new year's resolution was. The room was full of co workers and some members of the traveling public and I looked at her and said, "I've resolved to stop hitting my wife with a closed fist".
That was the last time anybody asked me there. In fact, when word got around the population of the entire area got into the habit of going out of THEIR way to get out of MY way.
It was great!
Because many of you are women I will say in ALL SERIOUSNESS that I have never as much as yelled at my wife and any man who assaults a woman in a domestic violence situation should be jailed for a minimum of 6 months on the 1st offense and 6 YEARS on the second.
Searching through the links until I found a fave picture of mine that YOU, the viewers, posted of yourselves. I'm only missing one mysterious lady who posts a lot of pics of romantic women making it impossible for me to identify her.
Friday, December 30, 2005
I went through the pictures that I can find that were either shot of me or by me this past year.
Do you have a friend on who's door you can knock at any time knowing that you have food and lodging for as long as you need it? This is mine and I am his. Meet Oscar Castro. Oscar is one of the founding members of a Bolivian folkloric music group called Savia Andina. He has circled the globe several times and has played for Presidents and Kings. Savia Andina has released close to 50 albums, cassettes and CD's. When we are together it's a riotous conversation about politics and women and mayhem and it is heavily laced with profanity.
Savia Andina will be in Vancouver next November and I expect you to be there if you live in the Vancouver area.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Today I entered the Language Training Mission in Provo, Utah. I will learn the Spanish language and the series of lessons I will teach to prospective converts during what will be my two year Mormon mission in Bolivia.
They lined us all up and gave us folders with some paperwork. A man walked by and marked an "x" on mine which meant that my hair was not short enough. All of us "x" guys were loaded into vans to go to the barber shop on the Brigham Young University campus next door.
I was assigned a companion because Elders should never be alone lest they fall into temptation. My "comp" (as we Elders say) is a guy named Val Mcintire and he is from Parker, AZ. We do not call each other by our first names. He is going to the same mission as me. In fact my whole group of twelve missionaries is going to the Bolivia, La Paz mission. Two in the group are girls, or "sister" missionaries.
We were assigned rooms in a large dorm. There are two bunk beds in each room and I got a top bunk. I will be here at the LTM for two months.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Holy crap boys and girls. Write the date down. Christmas Day 2005. I'm in a coat and tie and I am not under subpoena nor am I going to a funeral or a wedding. This is very rare and you may never see it again.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Grapes of Wrath
Three Days of the Condor
Working long hours all this week. We had goose for dinner and that will be the last time. It was good but there just isn't too much meat on one of those things. Tastes kinda like roast beef. Now I'm trying to scare up some tix to see the USA beat Canada like rented mules on New Year's Eve. (World Junior's Hockey Championship)
U S A
U S A
U S A!!!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
|You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.|
What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com
Saturday, December 24, 2005
May the sun caress your face
May the wind dance through your hair
May the songbirds sing your name
May the path beneath your feet
lead you to promised lands
May the clouds carry your imagination
to the happiest horizons
May my outstretched hand
allow you to know
that you are never alone.
I'm actually going to stick my head in a church tomorrow so if you hear of a roof collapse in Richmond, BC you'll know why I've stopped posting. If not, I'll be back on Monday.
No he isn't.
You're right, I'm not.
Zona Boy's version of what the hell happened this year and what he wants to happen in the coming year but will probably fall on his face failing to accomplish.
This is the year I started this blog and I blame it all on Matthew Good. I met Matthew and his lovely wife Jennifer at the airport and one of the things we talked about was his very political blog. At that time I did not know exactly what a blog was. To make a long shory stort I followed their adventures in Las Vegas via Matt's blog and it led me to the blog of a man named Tony Pierce. The rest is history and this blog exists because it was about as easy to create as farting.
Michele was the first to link my blog for no apparent reason so she will always hold that special place for me. The rest of you and I have stumbled into each other here in "el blogo sfeero" and I am happy to know you all. Some of my links I have actually met face to face. Some links have come and gone for different reasons.
I told my son about my blog and my two daughters happened upon it which is why there is no nudity for the most part.
That's enough on the blog. Now on to the adventures of the past year.
My travels took me to,
The best CD I bought this year,
Tori Amos, Scarlet's Walk
Nine Inch Nails
Star Wars III
Napoleon Dynamite (not my idea)
Oh my god. Am I THAT freaking boring???
Sounds like it.
I DID buy a new car this year.
Only because your old car was plotting to kill you.
Yeah, what can I say?
You can tell them the great idea you came up with for this summer.
Next month I and going to buy an 8 megapixel canon digital camera. I've told you already about my planned trip in May. Well in August I am going to take a pledge of blog silence and post only PICTURES. At least one a day and pictures that I shot. No old stuff. All NEW. Why August you ask? Because I want it to be good. I want to talk to you in images. If anybody does it before me I won't mind. There are a few who can probably do it. I will have to fight the urge to start it early but I figure I will have it set up pretty good by that time. I'm thinking of about posting around 200 shots which means, as most photogs know, me shooting about 1000 shots. I also want to use the time to learn and practice photo shop.
That sounds like a photo blog to me.
Ah but you have to wait and see how I do it. THAT will make all the difference.
Since I'm in your head I can see what you mean.
If I pull it off it will be really cool. That's why I don't mind if somebody does it before me. Each person is unique.
I hope to.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Neil Young, Linda Ronstadt with the Stone Ponies (future Eagles), Poco, Little River Band, AC/DC, 38 Special, Johnny Van Zandt Band, Allman Bros, Marshall Tucker, Charlie Daniels, The Babies, Journey, Styx, Kansas, Heart, Robert Palmer, Jefferson Starship, Fleetwood Mac, Kenny Loggins (twice), Loggins and Messina, Fairport Convention, Eagles, Roger McGuinn (Byrds), Graham Nash, Crosby Stills and Nash, Frank Zappa, The Pretenders, Dan Fogelberg, Neil Diamond (2), Yes (4 variations), Johnny Winter, The Tubes, Prince, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Cher, Rush (3), Matthew Good (5), Big Wreck, Gob (2), The Donnas, Green Day, Mighty Bosstones, Berlin, Alice Cooper, The Rolling Stones, George Thorogood, T Rex, Peter Tosh, Simple Minds, Mister Mister, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Queensryche, Blue Oyster Cult (2), Tragically Hip, Sam Roberts, Nickelback, Big Sugar, Default, Santana, Steely Dan, 707, Pat Benatar, REO Speedwagon, Loverboy, Bob Dylan, Nine Inch Nails, Jeff Beck, Jackson Browne, Little Feat, Head East, Pat Travers, The Moody Blues (2), Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Queens of the Stone Age, Papa Roach
Spyro Gyra, Grover Washington Jr., Fourplay, Pat Metheny. Tim Weisberg, Sergio Mendes, Ottmer Liebert, Johnny McGlaughlin Al Di Meola and Paco de Lucia, Kenny Rankin
Emanuel, Luis Miguel, Jose Luis Rodriguez, Savia Nueva, Emma Junaro
If I think of any more I'll edit them in using italics.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
That sure was nice of the Prez to lend his image for a public service announcement in Mexico City! Its says "Respect others. Yield to pedestrians".
See that lady next to doofus? A number of years ago TODAY, a number I won't specify, that nice lady was born in Oruro, Bolivia. What I will say is that she has been married to doofus for just over half of our lives. I don't know how I managed to survive the first half of my life without her and even though sometimes I'm a selfish prick I just don't know what I would do without her.
Happy Birthday sweetheart.
I love you very much.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Some years ago I walked into the office at work one day and I was looking at the schedule for the next two weeks. Now I don't know how the hell they got on the subject but one of the male inspectors was talking to the three secretaries about how men wake up with "morning wood" and two of the girls nodded in acknowledgement because both had been married.
I'm trying not to acknowledge anything because it can be dangerous when such talk happens at the workplace and goes a bit beyond the limit.
So the guy relates that men also have to pee when they get up in the morning and that can be precarious. Then he announces that he solves the problem by sitting down to pee and the girls get this hmmm, how interesting look to them.
So by this time I'm looking at the group and the three girls look at me all at once as if they wanted me to say something.
So I did.
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I can't do that. I don't fit" and then I walked out of the office. I got interesting looks from the girls for about a week.
Interesting the things I recollect when I'm bored in my training class at work.
Monday, December 19, 2005
We bought number candles for my son's birthday cake last week. After he blew them out I told my wife to save them and in 4 years I would use them. JEEZUS I've been in Canada too long. Now I'm recycling frikking CANDLES!!!
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